Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, organize your answer with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Reduce hesitations (uh, um) and correct grammar (use past tense consistently and infinitive or gerund forms correctly). For example, say you had a bike, explain why you did not learn to ride with a specific reason and one brief detail about attempts.

例: Yes, I had a bike as a child, but I never learned to ride it because the streets near my house were very busy. For example, I tried twice with a friend’s help, but traffic and narrow pavements made it unsafe, so my parents decided to wait until I was older.

提案: Start with a clear opinion, then give specific contrasting details using linking words like 'however' and 'because'. Avoid repetition (safer/safe) and hesitations. Provide one concrete example or statistic to support your point to improve content and coherence.

例: Yes, bikes are popular in many parts of my country; however, in my city most people prefer public or private transport because the roads are crowded and cycling can be unsafe. For instance, most commuters take the metro during rush hour since it is faster and more reliable than cycling.

× I had my own bike when I was a child, but I never learned how to ride it.

✓ I had my own bike when I was a child, but I never learned to ride it.

Use of 'learned how to ride' is not wrong, but 'learned to ride' is more natural and concise in past tense. Keep tense consistent; no modal or auxiliary change needed.

× I uh, tried a couple of times, but uh to control the bike and uh, ride the bike in crowded place is really hard for me.

✓ I tried a couple of times, but controlling the bike and riding it in crowded places was really hard for me.

Original has an incorrect infinitive phrase and mixed tenses. Replace 'to control the bike and ride the bike in crowded place is really hard for me' with gerund phrases 'controlling' and 'riding' to match 'tried' and use past tense 'was'. Also pluralize 'places' and remove hesitation fillers for clarity.

× Do you think bikes are popular in your country? Student: Yes, bikes are really popular in my country, but uh, in the city I live, which is really populated, most of the people prefer to use public transportation or private transportation.

✓ Yes, bikes are really popular in my country, but in the city where I live, which is very crowded, most people prefer to use public or private transportation.

Use 'where I live' instead of 'in the city I live' for natural phrasing. 'Really populated' is awkward; use 'very crowded'. 'Most of the people' is wordy; 'most people' is preferred. Keep present simple tense consistent.

× Uh, it's much faster than bike and umm, it's more safe.

✓ It's much faster than a bike, and it's safer.

Compare nouns using articles: 'faster than a bike'. 'More safe' is nonstandard; use the comparative adjective 'safer'. Also include 'a' before 'bike'.

× It's safer than, uh, using a bike in the city.

✓ It's safer than using a bike in the city.

Remove unnecessary comma and filler. Sentence is fine otherwise; keep article usage 'a bike' is correct. Ensure punctuation does not break the comparison.