Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct, use past tense consistently, avoid fillers, and give one or two specific details. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No), then briefly describe an example and a future wish. Use linking words like 'however' or 'so' to connect ideas.

例: No, I didn't have my own bike when I was a child. Instead, I used my father's old bicycle, and I remember feeling very excited whenever he took me for rides around the neighborhood. Because those rides were so fun, I still hope to buy a sturdy motorcycle in the future.

提案: Answer directly, remove hesitations, and vary vocabulary. Provide one clear reason with a specific example or comparison and use linking words like 'because' and 'for example' to make it coherent. Limit to about 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are inexpensive and very convenient in congested cities. For example, people often use motorcycles to weave through traffic during rush hour, which saves both time and fuel compared with cars.

× Uh, basically, I don't have my own bike before, but uh, my father had a old cycle and I feel very excited when I uh, go with him and I am wishing for a heavy bike for the future.

✓ Uh, basically, I didn't have my own bike before, but my father had an old bicycle and I felt very excited when I went with him, and I wished for a heavy bike for the future.

Error type ID 22: Article errors and tense consistency. 'a old cycle' is incorrect because 'old' begins with a vowel sound and requires the article 'an', and 'cycle' is better expressed as 'bicycle' in this context. Also the original mixes present and past tenses ('don't have' with 'before', 'feel' with past context). Use past tense verbs to match 'when you were a child': 'didn't have', 'had', 'felt', 'went', 'wished'. Suggestions: use 'an old bicycle' or 'an old cycle' for correct article; keep verb tenses consistent with the time reference (past) throughout the sentence.

× Bikes are very popular in my country because they are uh, inexpensive and easy to run in during crowded, uh, times.

✓ Bikes are very popular in my country because they are inexpensive and easy to use during crowded times.

Error type ID 27: Subject-verb agreement/word choice. 'easy to run in during crowded times' is unidiomatic and awkwardly constructed. 'Run' does not agree with the intended meaning; the correct phrase is 'easy to use' or 'easy to ride' for bicycles. Also remove unnecessary filler words. Suggestion: use 'easy to use' or 'easy to ride' to express that bicycles are convenient in crowded situations.

× Crowded times, bikes can be very, uh, easy and since they save time and money.

✓ In crowded times, bikes can be very convenient because they save time and money.

Error type ID 26: Sentence structure errors. The original sentence is fragmented and uses 'easy' incorrectly as a predicate without an object; the conjunction 'since' is misused without clear clause structure. Recast the sentence to 'In crowded times, bikes can be very convenient because they save time and money.' Suggestion: use 'convenient' instead of 'easy' and connect clauses with 'because' to show cause.