Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be careful with minor errors and aim for clearer sentence structure and concise phrasing. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct small mistakes (e.g., 'I remember borrowing' not '1 borrowing'), and avoid overly long sentences. Also add a brief reflection or result to complete the response.

例: No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child. I often borrowed a friend's bike and once I sat on the front while he rode; we had an accident, which made me quite scared. As a result, I avoided riding for a long time.

提案: Make the answer more natural and specific. Use clearer grammar (tense and singular/plural agreement) and link ideas smoothly. Begin with a direct statement, then give two specific reasons with linking words (for example, 'because' and 'also'). Provide concrete examples or comparisons to strengthen your point.

例: Yes, bikes are fairly popular in my country. For example, many students cycle to school because it is cheap and convenient, and others ride bicycles in their free time for exercise and relaxation.

× Actually, I didn't have a bike when I was growing up and I was always jealous of the kids who did because riding a bike looked so much fun.

✓ Actually, I didn't have a bike when I was growing up, and I was always jealous of the kids who did because riding a bike looked so much fun.

The original sentence is mostly correct in tense but needs a comma before the coordinating conjunction 'and' connecting two independent clauses. Use a comma to join two independent clauses with a coordinating conjunction to improve clarity and follow punctuation conventions. Suggestion: add a comma before 'and'.

× I remember 1 borrowing a friend's bike and sitting on the front while he rode.

✓ I remember borrowing a friend's bike and sitting on the front while he rode.

The original sentence contains an extraneous '1' character likely typed by mistake. Also, 'remember' followed by a gerund is correct when recalling a past event. Remove the stray character. Suggestion: delete the '1' so the sentence reads naturally.

× We had an accident and I was a bit scared after that so I didn't ride again for a long time.

✓ We had an accident, and I was a bit scared after that, so I didn't ride again for a long time.

The sentence contains multiple independent clauses joined by coordinating conjunctions. Add commas before 'and' and before 'so' to separate the clauses clearly. Tenses are correct (simple past) for a past narrative. Suggestion: add commas for correct punctuation and readability.

× Yes, it was quite popular in our country because some students use bags for transportation and going to school also when they have leisure time, they ride bikes as a form of exercise also.

✓ Yes, bicycles are quite popular in our country because some students use them for transportation and to go to school, and when they have leisure time, they ride bikes as a form of exercise.

The original sentence mixes past and present tenses and contains unclear phrasing and pronoun errors. Use present simple 'are' to match the general statement about popularity. Replace 'bags' with 'bicycles' or 'them' since 'bags' is incorrect; likely a word confusion. Use 'use them for transportation and to go to school' for parallel structure. Remove redundant 'also' and place conjunctions to separate ideas. Suggestion: use present tense, correct noun ('bicycles' or 'them'), parallel infinitive structures, and remove duplicate words for clarity.