Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and concise: begin with a clear topic sentence stating whether you had a bike, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid incorrect modal verbs ("should have had") and word choices ("write" instead of "ride"). Use linking words like "but" or "however" to connect ideas and keep to 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. It was a red bicycle that I loved and rode almost every day. However, during school terms I rode it less because I had extracurricular activities after class. I enjoyed cycling around my neighborhood on weekends.

提案: Start with a clear opinion sentence (Yes/No and brief reason), then give one specific observation as evidence. Avoid vague or repetitive phrases ("almost every single day", "but what I find"). Use linking words like "especially" and "for example" correctly and keep responses within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country because many people use them for exercise and short trips. For example, during spring and summer I often see groups of teenagers and families cycling in parks and on bike paths. However, cars are still more common for longer journeys, so bikes are mainly used locally.

× Yeah, when I was a child, I should have had a bike.

✓ Yeah, when I was a child, I had a bike.

The student used 'should have had' which implies regret about a past obligation or missed opportunity; the intended meaning is simple past possession. Use simple past 'had' to state that you owned a bike in childhood. Suggestion: Replace modal perfects with simple past when describing factual past possession.

× And I remember well, it was red and I love it so much and I wanted to write it like every single day, even though I couldn't because I had some extracurricular activities and other stuff.

✓ And I remember it well: it was red, I loved it so much and I wanted to ride it every single day, even though I couldn't because I had some extracurricular activities and other commitments.

Multiple issues: 'remember well' is better as 'remember it well' (object needed). 'I love it' mixes present with past context; use past 'loved.' 'write it' is wrong word choice; context requires 'ride it.' 'Other stuff' is informal; 'other commitments' is clearer. Suggestions: keep verb tenses consistent for past narratives, include the object after 'remember', and use the correct verb for the action.

× So I just wanted to spend more time.

✓ So I just wanted to spend more time riding my bike.

The sentence is vague and lacks the object that explains what time should be spent on. In context, specify 'riding my bike' to complete the idea. Suggestion: always include the verb object to clarify the meaning.

× Overall, I think bikes are popular among kids and teens in all countries.

✓ Overall, I think bikes are popular among kids and teens in my country.

The student first generalizes 'in all countries' but then shifts to country-specific examples; this causes inconsistency. To answer the examiner's question about the student's country, specify 'in my country.' Also 'kids and teens' is acceptable but 'children and teenagers' is more formal. Suggestion: keep scope consistent with the question.

× But especially talking about my country, I can say yes because almost every single day, especially during summer holidays or around spring.

✓ But speaking specifically about my country, I would say yes, especially during summer holidays and in spring, when many people ride bikes.

Awkward phrasing 'talking about my country' and fragmented clause 'because almost every single day' lack a main verb. Rephrase to 'speaking specifically about my country' and link reason properly. Suggestion: use complete clauses and clearer connectors.

× But what I find there were lots of people riding bikes and driving.

✓ But what I find is that there are lots of people riding bikes and driving.

Mixed tense and subject-verb agreement: 'what I find' (present) should be followed by present 'is that there are' not past 'were.' Use consistent tense and correct agreement: 'there are lots of people.' Suggestion: match the main clause tense with the subordinate clause and use 'there are' for plural subjects.