Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, correct basic grammar (e.g., "when I was a child/7 years old"), avoid filler words (uh, um), and give one or two specific supporting details using linking words (for example, "because" or "and"). Aim for 2–4 coherent sentences and correct verb forms (e.g., "I could ride the bicycle").

例: Yes. I had a bike when I was about seven years old. My father bought me a bright red bicycle, and I used to ride it with my friends after school. Because the bike was light and easy to handle, I enjoyed cycling around our neighborhood every day.

提案: Give a clear direct response first, then support it with a reason and a specific example. Correct grammar (use singular/plural correctly: "bicycles" or "cycling") and avoid repetition. Use linking words like "however" or "recently" to show contrast or change. Keep it within 2–4 sentences.

例: Not very popular as a main form of transport. Most people prefer cars or public transport, but recently more young adults have started cycling for health and fitness. For example, several friends of mine now ride to the park on weekends to stay active.

× Uh, yes Sir. When I was a son, when I was 7, my father bought a beautiful red bicycle for me at that time, uh, I, I can put the, uh, ride the bicycle and uh, on which and uh, with my, uh, friend, I really enjoy.

✓ Uh, yes Sir. When I was a child, at age 7, my father bought a beautiful red bicycle for me. At that time I could ride the bicycle with my friend and I really enjoyed it.

Multiple errors: 'a son' is wrong because we use 'a child' or just 'a son' only in contrast; 'When I was a son' is unnatural — use 'When I was a child' or 'When I was seven'. The sentence also mixes present and past tenses: 'bought' is past so subsequent verbs should be past ('could ride', 'enjoyed it'). 'I can put the, uh, ride the bicycle and uh, on which' contains broken phrasing; replace with 'I could ride the bicycle with my friend'. Add the pronoun 'it' after 'enjoyed'. Suggestions: use consistent past tense narrative for past events, choose correct noun 'child', use 'could' for ability in the past, and include necessary object pronouns like 'it'.

× I, I can put the, uh, ride the bicycle and uh, on which and uh, with my, uh, friend, I really enjoy.

✓ I could ride the bicycle with my friend, and I really enjoyed it.

The original mixes present modal 'can' with a past context and contains ungrammatical fragments. For ability in the past, use 'could' not 'can'. Remove extraneous fragments ('put the', 'on which') and complete the clause with the object pronoun 'it'. This creates a grammatical past-tense sentence that matches the context. Suggestion: when describing past abilities use 'could' and ensure clauses are complete and sequenced logically.

× Actually, in our country, biker is not is not a popular transportation for people or but recently some young adults use the bike for for becoming a healthier life.

✓ Actually, in our country, biking is not a popular means of transportation for most people, but recently some young adults have started using bikes to become healthier.

Problems: 'biker is not is not a popular transportation' is ungrammatical and repeats 'is not'. 'Biker' refers to a person, not the activity; use 'biking' or 'cycling' or 'bikes' as the subject. 'Transportation' should be 'a means of transportation' or 'transport'. Use plural agreement and correct verb forms: 'have started using' fits the recent change and present perfect is appropriate for recent trends. 'for for becoming a healthier life' is incorrect: use 'to become healthier' or 'for a healthier life'. Suggestion: choose correct noun for the activity, fix repetition, use 'means of transportation', and use an appropriate tense (present perfect) for recent trends.