Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cevap daha akıcı ve doğru zaman kullanımıyla geliştirilebilir. Cümleler tekrarlar ve gramer hataları içeriyor (ör. "I was ha I was have", "has", "them"). Ayrıca fazla sözcük tekrarı var. Öneri: Önce doğrudan bir konu cümlesi kurun (geçmiş zamanda net), ardından bir veya iki destekleyici detay verin. Bağlaçlar kullanarak akışı sağlamak için kısa ve doğru cümleler tercih edin. Örnek dikkat edilmesi gereken noktalar: doğru geçmiş zaman (had/was), tekil/çoğul uyumu, nesne zamiri uyumu.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. It was pink and had little sprinkles on the frame. I loved it because it had training wheels, which helped me learn to ride safely.

提案: Cevap net ancak dağınık ve anlaşılması zor; tekrarlar ve kelime seçimi sorunları var ("parts", "go the parts", "gas stations is a pretty, pretty ex"). Daha açık bir topic sentence kurun, sonra neden popüler olduklarına dair iki spesifik neden verin. Bağlaç (because, therefore, however) kullanarak fikirlerinizi mantıklı bir sıraya koyun. Ayrıca saygılı ve akıcı konuşma için gereksiz dolgu seslerinden (uh) kaçının.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. Many towns are small and close together, so people often ride bikes to visit friends or go to the market. In addition, cycling is cheap compared with driving, which makes it a practical choice for many families.

× I was ha I was have a bike when I was a child and it was pink and it has little sprinkles on them.

✓ I had a bike when I was a child; it was pink and had little sprinkles on it.

The sentence has multiple issues: incorrect verb forms and repetitions ('I was ha I was have' should be simple past 'I had'); inconsistent tense and subject-verb agreement ('it has' should match past context 'had'); incorrect pronoun reference 'on them' should be 'on it' because 'bike' is singular. Suggestion: Use a single, clear past-tense clause for possession ('I had') and keep pronouns and verbs consistent in tense and number.

× It's has both handed and like my bicycle since then.

✓ It has been my bicycle ever since, and I can ride it with both hands.

The original has wrong contraction and tense ('It's has' is ungrammatical) and unclear phrase 'both handed' which likely means 'I can use both hands' or 'I am ambidextrous when riding.' Also 'since then' requires present perfect 'has been' if referring from past to present. Suggestion: Choose correct auxiliary forms ('has been') and rephrase ambiguous expressions into clear clauses like 'I can ride it with both hands' or 'I've used it ever since.'

× Bikes are uh, bikes are actually very popular in my country because when in my country we have lot of small parts, so we can go the parts with our bicycle and actually our gas stations is a pretty, pretty ex.

✓ Bikes are actually very popular in my country because we have a lot of small towns, so we can go to those places by bicycle, and gas stations are quite expensive.

Multiple structural and word-choice errors: unnecessary repetition 'Bikes are uh, bikes are'; missing article 'a lot of' before 'small towns' (original 'parts' is wrong word); preposition errors ('go the parts' should be 'go to those places'); subject-verb agreement 'our gas stations is' should be 'gas stations are'; 'pretty, pretty ex' seems truncated and likely meant 'pretty expensive.' Suggestion: Remove fillers and repetition, use correct nouns ('towns' or 'places'), include articles where needed, correct prepositions ('to'), and ensure subject-verb agreement.