Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is natural, relevant and well-structured with a clear topic sentence and supporting details. To improve further, vary sentence openings and add one specific brief example or a short reflection on how that independence affected you (e.g., confidence or responsibilities). Keep responses concise (max 5 sentences) and use a linking word to connect the memory to its effect.

例: Yes, I had a bike. My father bought me a small white bicycle when I was six, and I was absolutely thrilled. I used to ride it around the neighborhood every afternoon, which not only gave me independence but also the confidence to go to my friend’s house on my own. As a result, I became more responsible and started helping with small errands.

提案: Your answer addresses the question and provides reasons, but it has some grammatical errors, slightly repetitive phrasing, and lacks clear linking between points. Improve by correcting grammar (e.g., “motorbikes” not “motor works”), using linking words (however, therefore), and giving one specific example or statistic to support your points. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and avoid repetition.

例: I don't think bicycles are very popular in my country because many families find them expensive and there is limited cycling infrastructure. Therefore, most people prefer motorbikes or cars for daily travel. However, in recent years some neighborhoods have become more bicycle-friendly, so cycling is slowly becoming more common.

× Yes, I had a bike.

✓ Yes, I had a bike.

No change needed; sentence correctly uses past simple to describe possession in childhood.

× My father bought a white bicycle for me when I was 6, and I remember being absolutely thrilled.

✓ My father bought a white bicycle for me when I was six, and I remember being absolutely thrilled.

Change '6' to the word 'six' for formal written style; grammatically the past simple verbs 'bought' and 'remember' are correct for past events.

× I rode it around the neighborhood every afternoon, which gave me a lot of independence and happy memories.

✓ I rode it around the neighborhood every afternoon, which gave me a lot of independence and happy memories.

Sentence is grammatically correct: past simple 'rode' matches past habitual action; no correction necessary.

× I don't think bicycles are very popular in my country because we're a relatively poor country and bikes are often expensive for many families.

✓ I don't think bicycles are very popular in my country because we are a relatively poor country and bikes are often too expensive for many families.

Use of contraction 'we're' is acceptable but expanded form 'we are' is clearer; add 'too' to indicate unaffordability more naturally. Tense and subject-verb agreement are correct.

× There's also a limited cycling infrastructure so people prefer motor works or cars.

✓ There is also limited cycling infrastructure, so people prefer motorbikes or cars.

Use 'There is' instead of contraction for consistency; 'limited cycling infrastructure' does not need 'a'. 'motor works' is incorrect; the intended word is 'motorbikes' or 'motorcycles'. Added a comma before 'so'.

× When I was a child we usually played football and rarely rode bicycles also,

✓ When I was a child, we usually played football and rarely rode bicycles.

Moved 'also' (which was redundant) and placed a comma after the introductory clause 'When I was a child'. Past simple verbs 'played' and 'rode' are correct for habitual past actions.

× And the few neighborhoods have more cyclists now.

✓ A few neighborhoods have more cyclists now.

'And' is unnecessary at the start of the sentence; use 'A few' instead of 'the few' unless referring to a specific set previously mentioned. The present simple 'have' is correct for current state; removing 'And' improves sentence structure.