Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Clarify meaning, correct grammar and reduce redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, then give one or two concise supporting details using correct verbs and vocabulary. Avoid unclear phrases (e.g. “couldn't drink a bag”) and use linking words (for example, “however” or “so”) to connect ideas.

例: No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child. My parents couldn’t afford to buy one, so I never learned to ride. As a result, most of my friends learned to cycle and I still don't know how to ride a bike.

提案: Make the answer more structured and specific: give a clear topic sentence, then two specific reasons with examples and use linking words (for example, “first,” “second,” “because”). Reduce fillers like “umm” and “you know.” Use precise vocabulary (e.g. “inexpensive” instead of “cheap”).

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. First, many people learn to cycle as children, so cycling is a common mode of transport. Second, bicycles are inexpensive and practical for short trips in cities, so a lot of commuters prefer them to cars.

× Actually not.

✓ Not really.

The original reply 'Actually not.' is not grammatically incorrect but is unnatural in this conversational context. Replacing it with 'Not really.' provides a more natural spoken response. This is a stylistic improvement rather than a strict tense correction.

× During my childhood I couldn't drink a bag so well, so my parents had never bought it for me.

✓ During my childhood I couldn't ride a bike very well, so my parents never bought one for me.

The student used incorrect words: 'drink a bag' is nonsensical and likely a confusion with 'ride a bike'. 'Had never bought it for me' is unnecessary past perfect; simple past 'never bought' fits because the action is a single past event. Also 'one' is the correct pronoun for 'a bike.' Suggest replacing wrong vocabulary, use 'ride a bike', and use simple past 'never bought'. Grammar problem types applied: past tense issue and sentence structure errors.

× But I think it was a great pretty things.

✓ But I think it was a really nice thing.

The original mixes incompatible adjectives and incorrect plural: 'great pretty things' is ungrammatical. Use a single adjective phrase 'really nice' and singular 'thing' to refer to 'a bike'. Also 'was' is acceptable for past reference. Suggest choose one adjective and correct number agreement.

× Nowadays my friends all have the ability to ride a bike, but I can't.

✓ Nowadays all my friends can ride a bike, but I can't.

Use simple present 'can' for ability in general. 'Have the ability to ride a bike' is wordy; 'can ride a bike' is more natural. Also word order 'all my friends' is more natural.

× Yeah, definitely.

✓ Yes, definitely.

'Yeah' is informal; 'Yes' is more appropriate in a test setting. This is a stylistic correction for register rather than strict tense.

× I can see that most of people in my country can ride a bike, which is so convenient, especially when they are under a certain age to drive a car.

✓ I can see that most people in my country can ride a bike, which is very convenient, especially since many are too young to drive a car.

Drop the preposition 'of' after 'most' ('most people' is correct). 'So convenient' is informal; 'very convenient' is better. Replace 'when they are under a certain age to drive a car' with 'since many are too young to drive a car' for naturalness and clarity. This fixes quantifier use and improves sentence structure.

× In addition, umm, you know, the price of bike is cheap, so, uh, it can be affordable.

✓ In addition, the price of bikes is low, so they are affordable.

Use plural 'bikes' or 'a bike' with appropriate article; 'the price of bike' is incorrect. 'Price...is low' is more natural than 'is cheap' in this context. Use plural pronoun 'they' to agree with 'bikes'. Also 'can be affordable' is weak; state 'are affordable.' This fixes article errors and subject-pronoun agreement.