Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise, correct grammar, and add one specific supporting detail. Start with a clear topic sentence, then briefly add a detail using a linking word. Avoid redundant words like “absolutely” here.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was about eight years old. It was a blue bicycle my parents gave me, and I used it to ride to the park every weekend.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence, remove filler words, and expand with a specific reason or comparison using a linking word. Use linking words like “because” or “especially” to make the answer coherent and include a concrete example or statistic if possible.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially in cities. For example, many people use bicycles for short trips because they are cheap and help avoid traffic.

× It was my parents given to me.

✓ It was given to me by my parents.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'parents given' where the past participle 'given' needs a clear agent and proper word order. Use the passive 'It was given to me by my parents' to show that the parents performed the action. This fixes the past participle placement and clarifies the agent (by my parents).

× Oh, I think it's quite popular in my country besides, uh, motorbike.

✓ Oh, I think bikes are quite popular in my country, along with motorbikes.

The original sentence uses 'it's' which is singular and unclear, and the phrase 'besides, uh, motorbike' is ungrammatical. Replace 'it's' with 'bikes are' to match the plural subject, and use a clear connector 'along with' and plural 'motorbikes' for parallel structure and correct pronoun/number agreement.