Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatically accurate, concise and organized. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using correct tense and linking words. Avoid filler words like "like" and unnecessary repetition. For example, correct verb forms and articles ("I had two bikes"), use a linking word for the reason ("because" or "so") and keep it within 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. In fact, I owned two bikes: one for short rides around the neighborhood and a sturdier one for longer trips with my friends. Because I enjoyed outdoor activities, I rode them almost every weekend.

提案: Give a direct, concise answer first, then add one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid hesitation sounds ("uh") and unclear comparisons. Use correct tense and structure when contrasting past and present (e.g., "compared to when I was a child"). Keep to 2–4 sentences and include a clear reason or example.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country today. Many children ride bikes in their free time because cycling is inexpensive and good exercise. Compared to when I was a child, there are more dedicated bike lanes and community cycling events now.

× I have like a two bikes.

✓ I had a bike.

The student uses plural 'bikes' with the numeral phrase 'a two' which is ungrammatical. Also the context is past time ('when I was a child'), so the verb should be past tense 'had' not 'have'. Use 'a' with singular nouns ('a bike') or use a number without 'a' ('two bikes'). Suggestion: Match number words and articles correctly and keep past tense: 'I had a bike' or 'I had two bikes'.

× Because like, I like to ride a bike when I was a child.

✓ Because I liked to ride a bike when I was a child.

The sentence mixes present-tense 'like' with past time reference 'when I was a child'. The verb should be in the past tense 'liked' to agree with the time frame. Also avoid filler words like 'like' and repetition. Suggestion: Use past tense consistently: 'I liked to ride a bike when I was a child.'

× Well, uh, nowadays I think yes, because, uh, children these days, they like riding, ride a bike along when, uh, they have free time.

✓ Well, nowadays I think yes, because children these days like riding a bike when they have free time.

This sentence has redundant fillers and awkward verb forms ('like riding, ride a bike along'). Use a single correct verb form 'like riding a bike' or 'like to ride a bike'. Remove redundant pronoun 'they' after 'children these days'. Also 'along' is unnecessary. Ensure subject-verb agreement and consistent present tense for 'nowadays' context. Suggestion: Simplify: 'Children these days like riding a bike when they have free time.'

× But uh, when was my, when was I, when I was in my childhood?

✓ But when I was a child, ...

This fragment is disfluent and contains unnecessary repetition 'when was my, when was I'. The correct expression is 'when I was a child' for referring to childhood. Also the original is a question form without a question intent; changing to a clause fits the narrative. Suggestion: Use the fixed phrase 'when I was a child' and avoid repeated fillers: 'But when I was a child, ...'