Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Clarify tense and verbs, correct vocabulary (ride not write), use a clear topic sentence and 1–2 supporting sentences with linking words. Keep it natural and concise (max 5 sentences). Mention one specific memory or detail to make it vivid. For example, start with a direct answer: “Yes, I did.” Then add when and who taught you, how you felt, and a short result using linking words (e.g., “At first…, but…”).

例: Yes, I did. I got my first bicycle when I was eight, and my mother taught me how to ride it in the park. At first I was scared because I had never ridden before, but after a few tries I felt more confident and could ride around the neighborhood on my own.

提案: Use a clear topic sentence and add specific supporting details and linking words. Correct small errors (say “cheap and convenient,” “go anywhere,” and avoid “will use” — use present simple). Give a brief comparison or reason and an example to be more persuasive. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in China. Many people use electric bicycles because they are cheap and convenient, and they make short trips faster. For example, commuters often ride e-bikes to work to avoid traffic, although they are less common on long-distance journeys.

× Of course, when I first have a bike I feel so excited and my mother taught me how to write.

✓ Of course, when I first had a bike I felt so excited and my mother taught me how to ride.

Tense inconsistency: the question asks about childhood (past), so verbs should be in the past tense. 'have' should be past 'had' and 'feel' should be past 'felt' (Grammar Problem Type ID 6). Also 'write' is a word choice error here; context requires 'ride' not 'write'. Replace with 'ride' to match meaning.

× At beginning I feel so scared because I don't know how to write and I've never write before but after.

✓ At the beginning I felt so scared because I didn't know how to ride and I'd never ridden before, but later I became more confident.

Multiple issues: time expression needs article 'the' ('At the beginning'). Verbs must be past tense to match narrative about the past (felt, didn't know) (Grammar Problem Type ID 6). 'I've never write before' is incorrect: present perfect requires past participle 'ridden' and contract to past narrative uses 'I'd never ridden before' or 'I had never ridden before' (Grammar Problem Type ID 9). 'write' should be 'ride' to convey correct meaning. Added 'later I became more confident' to complete the idea and correct sentence structure (Grammar Problem Type ID 26).

× Of course, in China many people will use electric bicycles because it's cheap and convenient and you can use it to everywhere you want.

✓ Of course, in China many people use electric bicycles because they're cheap and convenient and you can use them to go anywhere you want.

Modal/auxiliary and verb choice: 'will use' is unnecessary for habitual facts; use simple present 'use' for general truths (Grammar Problem Type ID 4 and 6). 'it's cheap' should agree in number with plural subject 'electric bicycles' -> 'they're cheap' (Grammar Problem Type ID 27 subject-verb agreement). 'use it to everywhere' is incorrect: 'use them to go anywhere' corrects pronoun number and verb collocation; 'everywhere' requires verb 'go' or phrase 'to go everywhere' (Grammar Problem Type ID 11 and 12).