Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and clear. Start with a simple topic sentence stating whether you had a bike, then give one or two specific supporting details (age, who gave it to you, what you remember). Use correct tense and avoid filler words. Keep it under five sentences and link ideas with words like “when” or “because.”

例: Yes, I did. I got my first bike when I was four years old from my parents, and I remember learning to ride it in our backyard. Because it had training wheels, I felt safe while I practised, and by the time I was six I could ride without them.

提案: Answer directly and give clear reasons with accurate vocabulary. Begin with a concise opinion, then add two specific reasons or an example. Avoid unclear phrases and correct grammar (e.g., “a few years ago,” not “few years ago”; clarify what you mean instead of saying unrelated terms like “Tuka laptop”). Use linking words such as “because,” “for example,” or “therefore.”

例: Yes, I think bikes have become more popular in my country. For example, during the pandemic a few years ago many people started cycling because it was a safe and affordable way to travel. In addition, the city has improved bike lanes recently, which has made cycling more convenient for commuters.

× Yes, I have one open, one I had when I was four years old, but.

✓ Yes, I had one. I got it when I was four years old.

Problems: sentence structure errors (ID 26) and past tense issue (ID 5). The student used 'have' (present) and then 'had' inconsistently and included the word 'open' which seems incorrect. To answer a past question 'Did you have a bike when you were a child?' the past tense 'had' should be used. Also the phrase 'one I had when I was four years old' is a fragment; split into two clear clauses: 'I had one. I got it when I was four years old.' Suggestion: use consistent past tense verbs and form complete sentences. Note: This suggestion covers both grammar problem type ID 5 and ID 26.

× I think so, but I think it's few years ago since during pandemic bikes are very popular because it is very efficient because of Tuka laptop.

✓ I think so. A few years ago, during the pandemic, bikes became very popular because they were very practical and efficient.

Problems: present tense issue (ID 6) and past tense issue (ID 5), subject-verb agreement and pronoun use (ID 27 and ID 12), article and word order issues (ID 22 and ID 26). The student mixed present and past tenses ('it's few years ago' is incorrect) and used 'it' to refer to 'bikes' (plural), so use 'they'. Also 'became' is appropriate for popularity increasing in the past. 'Tuka laptop' is unclear and likely incorrect vocabulary; replace with 'practical and efficient' or specify the correct reason. Suggested correction uses 'A few years ago, during the pandemic, bikes became very popular because they were very practical and efficient.' Suggestion: maintain consistent past tense when referring to past events, ensure pronouns agree in number with their antecedents, and use clear vocabulary.