Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response grammatically correct, more concise, and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Use past tense consistently and avoid fillers (uh, kinda).

例: Yes, I had a bicycle when I was a child. It was a sport bike that my parents bought me for a birthday, and although it was quite expensive, I rode it every day after school with my friends. I remember practicing tricks and feeling very proud whenever I mastered a new skill.

提案: Answer directly, use clear vocabulary and improve sentence structure. Begin with a topic sentence stating your opinion, then give two specific reasons with linking words (for example, because, moreover). Avoid vague phrases and filler words.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are flexible and affordable. For example, many students use bicycles to commute to school since they are convenient and cheap to maintain, and in many cities cycling is faster than driving during rush hour.

× Yes, when was I got a spot bike uh, it was kinda expensive and I got I got a lot of fun with it every day.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I got a sport bike. It was kind of expensive, and I had a lot of fun with it every day.

The sentence contains incorrect past tense word order and verb forms. 'when was I got' is ungrammatical; the correct order is 'when I was a child I got' (past simple). 'spot bike' is likely a misspelling of 'sport bike'. 'kinda' is informal; use 'kind of'. 'I got I got a lot of fun' is wrong: use 'I had a lot of fun' to describe enjoyment in the past. Suggestion: keep verbs in past simple for past events and use correct subject-verb order and common collocations (have fun -> had fun).

× Back is uh, popular for it uh, flexibility and it's uh, reasonable price and its convenience uh, in pupils life.

✓ Bikes are popular because of their flexibility, reasonable price, and convenience in students' lives.

Multiple structure problems: 'Back' is likely 'Bikes' (word choice). 'is popular for it flexibility' is ungrammatical and uses incorrect pronoun reference; use 'are popular because of' + noun phrases. 'it's reasonable price' mixes contraction 'it's' with a noun; should be 'their reasonable price' to match plural subject. 'its convenience in pupils life' should be 'convenience in students' lives' to use correct plural possessive and noun form. Suggestion: use clear subject 'Bikes', parallel noun phrases joined by commas, and plural possessives for plural subjects.

× So I think bikes are one of the most popular in my country.

✓ So I think bikes are among the most popular means of transport in my country.

The phrase 'one of the most popular' requires a singular noun following 'one of the', but the sentence uses 'bikes are one of the most popular' which is awkward because 'bikes' (plural) cannot be 'one'. Better to say 'bikes are among the most popular' or 'The bike is one of the most popular modes' depending on focus. Also clarify what they are popular as, e.g. 'means of transport'. Suggestion: use 'among the most popular' when referring to a plural subject or rephrase to singular if necessary.