Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more grammatically correct: start with a concise topic sentence, then add 1–2 specific supporting details. Use correct verb tenses and simpler word order. Avoid contradictions (toddler vs age 10) by giving consistent information. Keep it under five sentences and use a linking word if adding extra detail.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My parents bought my first proper bike when I was ten, and I rode it every day around the neighborhood. Because I practiced a lot, I became confident riding on busy streets.

提案: Give a clear opinion first, then support it with two specific reasons using linking words. Use correct grammar (subject-verb agreement, article use) and avoid filler words like 'uh'. Keep sentences concise and specific (e.g., mention commuting, cost, or environmental reasons).

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. Firstly, many people use bicycles to commute to work because they are cheap and convenient. Secondly, with rising fuel prices and traffic congestion, more people choose bikes to save money and avoid delays.

× Also my parents buy my first bike at the age 10 years.

✓ Also my parents bought my first bike when I was 10 years old.

The sentence describes a past event, so the verb should be in past tense. 'Buy' is present; change to 'bought'. Use 'when I was 10 years old' (more natural) instead of 'at the age 10 years'. Suggestion: Use past simple for completed past actions and the natural time expression 'when I was 10' or 'at age 10'.

× I played and make rod with my bike every single day.

✓ I played and made roads with my bike every single day.

The coordinated verbs should both be in the past tense to match 'played'. 'Make' (base form) is incorrect; use past form 'made'. The noun 'rod' is likely a typo for 'road' or 'ride'; context suggests 'roads'. Suggestion: Keep verb forms consistent in coordinated structures and choose correct nouns ('road' not 'rod').

× Bikes in my country have been and are remaining popular uh, it has a lot of cities that people goes with bike in their work so and nowadays, uh, when the prices are very high, uh, the bikes is uh.

✓ Bikes in my country have been and remain popular. There are a lot of cities where people go to work by bike, and nowadays, when prices are very high, bikes are more attractive.

Multiple issues: 'have been and are remaining' is awkward; use 'have been and remain' (present/present perfect). 'It has a lot of cities' incorrectly uses 'it' and verb form; use existential 'there are' and plural agreement. 'People goes' should be 'people go' (subject-verb agreement). 'With bike in their work' is incorrect preposition and phrasing; use 'go to work by bike'. 'The bikes is' uses singular verb with plural subject; use 'bikes are'. Suggestion: Ensure subject and verb agree in number, use 'there are' for existence, use 'go to work by bike' for the correct preposition, and choose concise phrasing like 'have been and remain popular'.