Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct, use correct tense, and organize into a clear topic sentence plus one or two supporting details. Avoid redundancy and correct grammar (e.g., past tense for childhood, subject-verb agreement). Use linking words to connect ideas and give a specific detail such as who taught you or a memorable moment.

例: Yes. My mother bought me my first bike when I was about four, and I learned to ride it soon after. Because many children in my neighborhood were already riding, I picked it up quickly, and I remember practicing every afternoon until I felt confident.

提案: Start with a clear opinion sentence, then give specific supporting reasons and examples. Use correct vocabulary (e.g., "motorbikes" versus "bikes" if you mean motorbikes) and linking words like "because" or "for example." Clarify what you mean by "expensive stuff" with concrete examples (helmets, accessories).

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in the Philippines, especially in Manila, because many people use motorbikes for daily commuting. For example, I often see riders buying helmets and custom parts, and small shops sell upgrades like storage boxes and better suspensions.

× I do have a bike when I was a child and my mom bought that bike when I was I think 4 because I started to learn riding a bike ever since I was so young.

✓ I had a bike when I was a child; my mom bought it when I was about four because I started to learn to ride a bike when I was very young.

The sentence mixes present tense ('do have') with past context ('when I was a child'). Use simple past 'had' for past events. 'I was I think 4' is ungrammatical; use 'about four'. 'Started to learn riding' is incorrect verb pattern; use 'started to learn to ride' or 'started riding'. Also replace 'ever since I was so young' with 'when I was very young' for clarity and correct tense. Suggestion: Keep past events in simple past, use 'learn to ride' or 'started riding', and avoid mixing tense adverbs.

× Since most of the people around me knows how to ride it or rode it, I don't know.

✓ Since most of the people around me know how to ride, or have ridden one, I don't know.

'Most of the people' is plural, so the verb should be 'know' not 'knows' (subject-verb agreement). 'Ride it or rode it' is awkward; use parallel forms: 'know how to ride' (present) or 'have ridden one' (present perfect) to express experience. Also omit the pronoun 'it' after 'ride' when referring to bicycles generally. Suggestion: Use plural verb forms with plural subjects and keep verb tenses consistent when presenting alternatives.

× I think it is popular here since in Manila most of the people there are basically in two bikes and they are even buying expensive stuff for those bikes.

✓ I think bikes are popular here because in Manila many people use motorcycles and even buy expensive accessories for them.

The original uses 'it is popular' which is vague; use plural 'bikes are popular' to match plural noun. 'Most of the people there are basically in two bikes' is incorrect and unclear—likely meant 'use two-wheelers' or 'use motorcycles'. 'Buying expensive stuff for those bikes' is informal; 'buy expensive accessories for them' is clearer. Maintain present simple for general statements. Suggestion: Use plural agreement ('bikes are'), replace unclear phrases with standard terms ('motorcycles' or 'two-wheelers'), and use 'accessories' instead of 'stuff'.