Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition and filler words (umm), and add one specific supporting detail to enrich the answer. Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, "because" or "so"). Keep to no more than 3–4 sentences.

例: No, I didn’t have a bike as a child because my family tried to live frugally. As a result, I often watched other children ride theirs and felt a bit jealous. However, I learned to enjoy walking and playing other outdoor games instead.

提案: Give a clear direct opinion then support it with a specific reason and an example. Avoid repeated words and grammatical errors. Use linking words such as "because" and "for example". Keep the response to 2–3 concise sentences.

例: Yes, bikes were very popular in the past because many people couldn’t afford private cars and needed an inexpensive way to travel. For example, in rural areas bikes were commonly used for commuting to work or market trips.

× So at that time I always umm, look back to other kids, they umm, they had their own bikes.

✓ So at that time I always used to look at other kids; they had their own bikes.

The original sentence mixes present tense 'look' with past context 'at that time' and 'they had'. Use 'used to look' to indicate a habitual action in the past and change the preposition 'back to' to 'at' for natural English. Also combine clauses with a semicolon or conjunction to avoid comma splice. Suggestion: use 'used to' for repeated past actions and 'look at' for observing someone.

× So I was really a little bit jealous of them.

✓ So I was a little jealous of them.

The phrase 'really a little bit' is redundant and awkward. Use either 'really jealous' or 'a little jealous', not both. Simplify to 'a little jealous' to match the speaker's intended mild degree of feeling. Ensure adverb placement directly modifies 'jealous'.

× I guess it used to be because in the past people didn't have their private vehicles, so a bike is a very was a very practical choice for them.

✓ I guess it used to be that bicycles were a very practical choice for people in the past because they didn't have private vehicles.

The original has mixed and duplicated verbs 'is a very was a very' and an awkward word order. Use 'used to be that' to introduce a past general situation, change 'a bike' to 'bicycles' for general reference, and use past tense 'were' to match 'in the past' and 'didn't have'. Also place the reason clause after the main clause for clarity. Avoid duplicating verbs.