Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be careful with accuracy, coherence and minor grammar errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Correct small mistakes (e.g., 'read' → 'red' or better 'was red') and avoid redundancy (don’t repeat that your father helped if already implied). Also vary vocabulary slightly (e.g., 'learned to ride' instead of 'learn how to ride').

例: Yes, I had a bike as a child. My father bought it for my seventh birthday, and it was bright red with training wheels. After a few weeks, he helped me learn to ride without them, so he took the wheels off when I was confident.

提案: Avoid overgeneralisation and insensitive phrasing. Give a clearer topic sentence and then support it with specific reasons and examples, using linking words. Expand your answer to mention different groups who use bikes, purposes (commuting, exercise), and any trends or infrastructure. Use more neutral vocabulary (e.g., 'many people use bikes' rather than focusing only on 'poor people').

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country. For example, many people use them for short commutes and running errands, and students often cycle to school. Moreover, with more bike lanes being added in cities, cycling is becoming more convenient and common.

× My father gave it to me for my 7th birthday.

✓ My father gave it to me for my seventh birthday.

Use of numerals in formal writing: spell out small ordinal numbers (seventh) in sentences for clarity and style; grammatically this is not incorrect but stylistically better. No tense error. Suggestion: write 'seventh' instead of '7th'.

× It was read with training wheels.

✓ It was ridden with training wheels.

The verb 'ride' has irregular past participle 'ridden', not 'read'. The correct passive construction uses 'was ridden'. Suggestion: use 'ridden' for past participle of 'ride'.

× As soon as I learned how to bike without the training wheels, he removed it.

✓ As soon as I learned how to ride without the training wheels, he removed them.

Pronoun agreement: 'training wheels' is plural so the pronoun must be 'them', not 'it'. Also collocation: the verb used with bicycles is 'ride', not 'bike' as a verb in this context is acceptable but 'ride' is more natural. Suggestion: use 'them' to match plural antecedent and 'ride' for natural phrasing.

× Yes, bikes are popular in my country because the poor people use it.

✓ Yes, bikes are popular in my country because poor people use them.

Preposition issue: 'in my country' is fine. Main errors: pronoun agreement and article usage. 'The poor people' is overly specific; 'poor people' or 'the poor' is better. 'Bikes' plural requires pronoun 'them' not 'it'. Suggestion: remove unnecessary 'the' and use 'them' to match plural.