Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and use correct tense and sentence structure. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and filler words. For example, say whether you had a bike, explain briefly why not, and describe one effect (how it made you feel) with correct grammar.

例: No, I didn't. My mother couldn't afford to buy me one, so I didn't own a bike. As a result, I often felt left out because all my friends rode theirs to school and to the park.

提案: Give a clear opinion and support it with specific reasons and a contrast if needed. Use linking words (however, nowadays, when I was a child) and correct subject-verb agreement. Avoid hesitations and repeated words.

例: Nowadays, bikes are less popular in my country because many people prefer cars for convenience and status. However, when I was a child bicycles were common for short journeys and for children to play with, especially in smaller towns.

× I didn't. My mom didn't buy a bike for me.

✓ I didn't. My mom didn't buy a bike for me.

No correction needed for tense here; the past simple is used correctly to describe a past event. Keep using 'didn't' + base verb for negative past statements.

× I I've felt very, I, I feel not very unhappy because my all of my friends had one.

✓ I felt very unhappy because all of my friends had one.

The original contains extra words and mixed tenses ('I've felt', 'I feel', 'not very unhappy') and incorrect word order ('my all of my friends'). Use simple past 'I felt' to match 'had' and remove redundant negatives: 'very unhappy' is clear. Place 'all of my friends' in correct order without 'my' before 'all'. Suggestion: Choose one tense and keep sentence concise: 'I felt very unhappy because all of my friends had one.'

× I think that's depends on now people don't like uh, umm, bike, uh, bikes.

✓ I think that depends on the time; nowadays people don't like bikes.

The phrase 'that's depends' mixes contraction with a verb that should be base form after 'that': use 'that depends'. 'Now people' is awkward; use 'nowadays' or 'these days'. 'Bike, uh, bikes' repeats the noun; use plural 'bikes'. Suggestion: Say 'I think that depends on the time; nowadays people don't like bikes.' to be clear and grammatical.

× They, they are uh, like to buy a car, but when I was a child, yes, it's popular.

✓ They prefer to buy cars, but when I was a child, yes, bikes were popular.

Pronoun repetition 'They, they' and 'are uh, like to buy a car' is ungrammatical. Use 'prefer' for habits and plural 'cars' when speaking generally. The clause 'it's popular' mismatches reference; use plural past 'bikes were popular' to agree with 'bikes' and past time frame. Suggestion: 'They prefer to buy cars, but when I was a child, bikes were popular.'