Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g. Yes or No), then give one or two concise supporting reasons. Use past tense consistently and avoid repetition. For example, say you didn’t have one, explain why (legal/financial), and add one short personal detail. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child. At that time it was illegal for people under 18 to ride motorcycles, and my family preferred to use public transport, so I never learned to ride.

提案: Answer directly, then give 2–3 clear and specific reasons using linking words (because, therefore, moreover). Avoid contradictions and incorrect vocabulary (e.g. ‘less efficient’ is confusing here). Keep sentences concise and remove fillers (uh, you know).

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they help people avoid heavy traffic and they cost less to run than cars. Moreover, many commuters find bikes easier to park and maintain, so they are a practical choice for daily travel.

× Obviously I don't have a bike that time I was I was child and it's illegal to drive a bike when you're under 18.

✓ Obviously I didn't have a bike at that time; I was a child and it was illegal to drive a bike when you were under 18.

Tense inconsistency and article use: The speaker refers to a past situation, so present tense 'don't have' is incorrect; use past tense 'didn't have' (Grammar Problem Type ID 6). 'That time' needs the preposition 'at' (Grammar Problem Type ID 11). 'I was I was child' is missing the article 'a' before 'child' (Grammar Problem Type ID 22) and contains repetition; remove the duplicate. 'It's illegal' should be in past 'it was illegal' because the rule applied at that past time (Grammar Problem Type ID 6). Suggestion: Use consistent past tense for past events, include necessary articles, and avoid repeating words.

× Yes Sir, actually bikes are popular in our in my country because as due to the heavy traffic and due to the high cost of the petrol of gas, people used to use bikes.

✓ Yes sir, actually bikes are popular in my country because of heavy traffic and the high cost of petrol, so people used to use bikes.

Awkward and incorrect preposition and article usage: 'in our in my country' is redundant and should be 'in my country' (Grammar Problem Type ID 11). 'Because as due to' is redundant; use 'because of' or 'due to' (Grammar Problem Type ID 16 for conjunction misuse but primarily preposition use ID 11). 'The petrol of gas' is incorrect word order and article; use 'petrol' or 'gas' without 'the' in this general sense (Grammar Problem Type ID 22 and 11). Suggestion: Choose one correct prepositional phrase ('because of' or 'due to'), remove redundancy, and use simple noun forms for general statements.

× You know bikes uh they are less efficient, less fuel efficient as well as uh they're, they're very convenient to drive and that's why they.

✓ You know, bikes are more fuel-efficient and very convenient to ride, and that's why people use them.

Incorrect adjective use and comparative idea: 'less efficient, less fuel efficient' is unclear and likely the speaker meant 'more fuel-efficient' compared to cars (Grammar Problem Type ID 13). Repetition 'they are... they're, they're' is disfluent; remove extra pronouns. 'Convenient to drive' is acceptable but 'ride' is more natural for bikes. Sentence ends incomplete 'that's why they.' Complete the idea with 'people use them.' Suggestion: Use clear comparative adjectives with hyphen for compound adjectives ('fuel-efficient'), avoid repetition, and finish the clause to express the reason clearly.