Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct repetitions and minor factual inaccuracies. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No + brief reason), avoid repeating words, and use accurate terms (e.g., 'motorcycles' vs 'bicycles' and clarify legality). Add one specific supporting detail and use a linking word for coherence.

例: No, I didn’t have a motorcycle as a child because Indian law restricts under-18s from riding them. However, I sometimes rode a bicycle to school and often walked, especially when the route was short.

提案: Organize the answer into a clear topic sentence plus two supporting reasons, use correct vocabulary (e.g., 'public transport' not 'transportish'), and avoid vague phrases. Use linking words like 'because' and 'for example' and give one specific example or statistic if possible.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in India because they are affordable and convenient. For example, many commuters prefer motorcycles to avoid crowded buses and to save time during rush hour.

× When I was younger, I did not have a bike because in India it was illegal for children under 18 to ride motorcycles.

✓ When I was younger, I did not have a bike because in India it was illegal for children under 18 to ride motorcycles.

No change needed for this sentence; verb tense and structure are correct for describing a past situation and a past law. Keep past simple for both clauses to maintain consistency.

× Instead, I used to ride a bicycle occasionally or or walk to school until I could ride ride legally.

✓ Instead, I used to ride a bicycle occasionally or walk to school until I could ride legally.

This sentence contained repeated words ('or or', 'ride ride') which are typographical errors rather than grammatical forms. Removing duplicates results in correct parallel structure: 'ride a bicycle' and 'walk to school'. The modal phrase 'could ride legally' correctly uses the base verb 'ride' after 'could'. Suggest proofreading to catch duplicated words.

× In my country, I think that bikes are very popular because people used to ride bikes rather than going on transportish public transport.

✓ In my country, I think that bikes are very popular because people ride bikes rather than use public transport.

The phrase 'used to ride' implies a past habit; the question asks about general popularity (present), so present simple 'ride' is appropriate. 'Going on transportish public transport' is awkward and contains a nonstandard word 'transportish'; replace with 'use public transport'. Also choose 'ride bikes' versus 'use public transport' for correct collocations. Keep tense consistent for general facts.

× Because in public transport there's lots of crowd and noise.

✓ Public transport is often crowded and noisy.

Starting a sentence with 'Because' creates a sentence fragment when not connected; rewrite as a full independent sentence. 'There's lots of crowd' is ungrammatical: 'crowd' as countable needs 'a lot of people' or use 'crowded' as adjective. Use 'is often crowded and noisy' for natural expression.

× So individuals of India prefer to go on their private bikes to enjoy the movement along with.

✓ So people in India prefer to go on their private bikes to enjoy the ride.

'Individuals of India' is unnatural; use 'people in India'. 'Go on their private bikes' is acceptable but 'ride their private bikes' or 'use their own bikes' is more natural. The phrase 'to enjoy the movement along with' is incorrect and unclear; replace with 'to enjoy the ride'. Also ensure pronoun 'their' correctly refers back to 'people'.