Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, correct grammar, and use linking words. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct tense/articles, and add one specific supporting detail. Avoid repetition.

例: Yes. I had a pink bike when I was in elementary school. I loved the color pink, so I asked my parents to buy one for me, and they did. I rode it to my friend’s house almost every weekend, which helped me become more confident riding in traffic.

提案: Clarify meaning, correct grammar and vocabulary, and give a specific example. Use linking words (e.g., moreover, for example) and correct terms like “rental bikes” or “shared bikes.”

例: Yes, I think bikes are very popular in Japan nowadays. In particular, rental or shared bikes are widely used, and they are popular among young people because they are convenient and cheap. For example, many students use app-based shared bikes to travel short distances across the city.

× Yes, I had a bike with a pink color when I was a elementary student.

✓ Yes, I had a bike that was pink when I was an elementary student.

Incorrect article 'a' before the vowel-starting adjective 'elementary' should be 'an'; also 'a bike with a pink color' is awkward in English. Use 'an elementary student' and rephrase to 'a bike that was pink' or 'a pink bike' for naturalness. Suggestion: say 'I had a pink bike when I was an elementary student.'

× I really love pink so I asked my father and mother to buy a pink bike and they are they and they bought me.

✓ I really loved pink, so I asked my father and mother to buy a pink bike and they bought one for me.

Tense mismatch: the question is about childhood (past), so use past tense 'loved' not present 'love'. The phrase 'they are they' is incorrect and likely a mistake; replace with simple past 'they bought one for me.' Also use 'bought one for me' rather than 'bought me' to be natural. Suggestion: 'I really loved pink, so I asked my parents to buy a pink bike, and they bought one for me.'

× Yes, I think bikes are very popular in Japan these days.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are very popular in Japan these days.

This sentence is grammatically correct. It uses present tense appropriately to describe a current general situation. No correction needed.

× Bikes who can rental anyone and anywhere called roof is very popular among young people.

✓ Bike-sharing services that allow anyone to rent a bike anywhere, called 'Roop' (or 'roof' if that is the name), are very popular among young people.

Multiple issues: 'who' is used for people, not things (use 'that' or 'which'); 'rental anyone and anywhere' is incorrect word order and form—use 'allow anyone to rent a bike anywhere' or 'that can be rented by anyone anywhere'; the subject-verb agreement: the corrected subject is plural so use 'are'. Also unclear name 'roof' likely a proper noun and should be capitalized and set in quotes. Suggestion: 'Bike-sharing services that allow anyone to rent a bike anywhere, such as Roop, are very popular among young people.'