Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct tense and word choice (e.g., “made me feel” not “made me felt”), and avoid redundancy like “actually” and “once”.

例: Yes. I got my first bike in first grade, and my dad taught me how to ride it. As a result, I felt very proud and more confident about trying new activities.

提案: Be direct and avoid filler phrases (“of course,” “to be honest”). Use present simple consistently (e.g., “I see” not “I saw”), and limit to two or three sentences. Provide a clear reason and one specific example or statistic if possible. Use linking words like “for example” or “also” appropriately.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular. I often see many people cycling in my neighborhood to enjoy fresh air and relax, and cycling is also a great way to stay fit and reduce the risk of heart disease.

× Yes, I first got my bike when I was in my first grade and my dad had helped me a lot in the process of learning to ride the bike, which made me felt very confident and proud of myself once I actually got used to it.

✓ Yes, I first got my bike when I was in first grade, and my dad helped me a lot during the process of learning to ride the bike, which made me feel very confident and proud of myself once I actually got used to it.

Multiple issues: 1) Past perfect unnecessary: 'my dad had helped' should be simple past 'my dad helped' because the sequence of past events is clear; using past perfect here is incorrect (Grammar problem type ID:5 Past tense issue). 2) 'made me felt' is incorrect because after 'made' we use the base verb form, so it should be 'made me feel' (Grammar problem type ID:9 Verb in the past participle form / more precisely verb form after causative). 3) 'in my first grade' is unnatural article/ preposition use; standard is 'in first grade' (Grammar problem type ID:22 Article errors and 11 Incorrect use of prepositions). Suggestions: use simple past consistently for completed actions in the past, use base verb after causative verbs like 'make', and use standard phrasing 'in first grade'.

× Yes, of course, to be honest, whenever I go out to have some breakfast with my mom, I saw so many people cycling around the neighborhood to enjoy the fresh air and also to unwind.

✓ Yes, of course. To be honest, whenever I go out to have breakfast with my mom, I see so many people cycling around the neighborhood to enjoy the fresh air and unwind.

Issues: 1) Tense inconsistency: 'whenever I go out... I saw' mixes present habitual 'go' with past 'saw'; both verbs should match; use present simple 'see' for habitual actions (Grammar problem type ID:6 Present tense issue). 2) Minor phrasing: 'to have some breakfast' is acceptable but 'to have breakfast' is more natural; also remove redundant 'also' before 'to unwind'. Suggestions: maintain consistent tense for habitual routines (present simple), and streamline extras for natural speech.

× And cycling is one of the best way to improve your health and prevent cardiovascular diseases as well.

✓ And cycling is one of the best ways to improve your health and prevent cardiovascular disease as well.

Issues: 1) Number agreement: 'one of the best way' is incorrect because 'one of the' requires a plural noun; it should be 'one of the best ways' (Grammar problem type ID:1 Singular and plural issue). 2) 'cardiovascular diseases' is acceptable but 'cardiovascular disease' as an uncountable general term is more natural here (Grammar problem type ID:22 Article errors / 13 Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs). Suggestion: ensure noun-number agreement after 'one of the' and prefer the general term 'cardiovascular disease' when speaking broadly about prevention.