Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and fluent: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details and finish. Avoid filler sounds (uh, umm) and correct tense/word choice (e.g. "passed it on" not "passed this to"). Use linking words like "then" or "because" to connect ideas. Mention one specific memory or how often you rode it to add concreteness.

例: Yes, I had a bike as a child. It originally belonged to my mother and she passed it on to my brother before it finally came to me, so it was actually an adult-sized bike rather than a children’s one. Because it was too big, I mostly rode it in our neighborhood on weekends, and I remember practicing turns near the park every Saturday.

提案: Provide a clear, structured opinion with a reason and a specific example. Begin with a direct answer (yes/no/partly), then add two supporting points using linking words like "because" or "for example." Avoid repetition and hesitations. Use precise vocabulary such as "cycle lanes" or "infrastructure" and correct grammar (e.g. "it has become uncommon").

例: Partly. Bicycles were more common when I was younger, but now they are less visible in Malaysian cities because many roads prioritize cars and there are few dedicated cycle lanes. For example, in my city cyclists often ride on sidewalks or risky stretches of road, which discourages people from using bikes for daily travel.

× I did have a bike when I was a child.

✓ I had a bike when I was a child.

Using 'did have' is emphatic in past simple and is unnecessary here. The simple past 'had' is the normal form to state possession in the past. Use 'I had' for a neutral statement about past possession.

× So this bike was uh, it belonged to my mother, which later she passed this to my brother and then to me.

✓ This bike belonged to my mother; she later passed it to my brother, and then it came to me.

The original mixes clauses and uses 'which' incorrectly to refer to a person/possessive action. Also 'passed this to' is awkward and 'which later she passed' is ungrammatical. Use clear clause connectors and correct pronouns: 'it' for the bike, and a semicolon or separate sentences to join related ideas.

× So it was actually an adult bike and it is not a children's bike and I ride it every, umm, even.

✓ It was actually an adult bike, not a children's bike, and I rode it every day.

Tense should remain past ('was', 'rode') to match 'when I was a child'. 'Every, umm, even' is incoherent; 'every day' expresses habitual past action. Also use 'children's bike' (possessive) correctly.

× It used to be popular in my country, I would say back in my, uh, child's childhood days, but now it became so, uh, uncommon, uh, to see bikes on the road.

✓ Bicycles used to be popular in my country, I would say back in my childhood, but now they have become uncommon to see on the road.

Mixes past and past simple awkwardly. Use 'used to' for past habit and 'have become' for a change resulting in the present. 'Child's childhood days' is redundant; use 'my childhood'. Use plural 'bicycles' or 'they' to match plural reference.

× I think partly that was, that is because of the road design where we have more cars and lack of bicycle lands here in Malaysia.

✓ I think this is partly because of road design: we have more cars and a lack of bicycle lanes here in Malaysia.

Use 'this is partly because of' for clarity. 'Bicycle lands' is incorrect; the correct term is 'bicycle lanes'. 'Lack of' should be followed by a noun: 'a lack of bicycle lanes'. Also adjust tense to present ('is') since referring to current situation.