Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Expand your answer with a clear topic sentence and at least one supporting detail. Use linking words if you add more than one idea. Provide specifics (when you had it, who it belonged to, how often you used it, feelings or memories) and keep it within 3–5 sentences.

例: Yes, I did have a bike when I was a child. It was a small red bicycle that belonged to me and I started riding it when I was seven. I rode it almost every afternoon to visit friends and practice tricks, which made me feel independent and confident.

提案: Make your answer more natural and specific. Start with a clear opinion, then give reasons and a brief example. Use linking words (for example, because, therefore, since) and correct tense/phrasing (e.g., "during the pandemic" not "the way back the pandemic"). Keep to 2–4 sentences and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I think bikes have become more popular in my country, especially during the pandemic. During that time many people chose cycling for exercise and to avoid public transport because it felt safer and allowed for social distancing. As a result, bike shops and dedicated cycling lanes became more common in cities.

× Yes, especially when it was way back, the way back the pandemic.

✓ Yes, especially during the pandemic.

The original sentence uses awkward phrasing and incorrect tense/structure: 'when it was way back, the way back the pandemic' is ungrammatical. Use 'during the pandemic' to indicate a time period in the past. Keep the past context by using 'during' with the noun 'the pandemic'. Avoid redundant phrases like 'way back' here.

× I mean, people have redirected their interests to biking.

✓ I mean, people redirected their interests to biking.

The student used present perfect 'have redirected' which is acceptable for recent changes, but in the context 'when you were a child' and referring to the pandemic as a past period, simple past 'redirected' is clearer and matches the past time frame. Use simple past to maintain consistent past narration: 'people redirected their interests to biking.'