Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear and relevant, but it is a bit long and has hesitations. Start with a concise topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid filler words like “umm” and correct small grammar issues (e.g., “racing with my friends” → “raced with my friends”). Also keep sentences natural and varied in structure.

例: Yes, I did. My father gave me a pink bicycle for my eighth birthday, and I treasured it. I rode it every afternoon around the park and often raced my friends, which made me feel very happy and independent.

提案: The answer repeats ideas and is grammatically awkward. Begin with a clear opinion, then give one or two specific reasons or examples. Use linking words (for example, therefore, for instance) and avoid repetition. Fix tense and subject-verb agreement (e.g., “we raced” or “they had bicycles”).

例: Yes, I think bikes are very popular in my country. For example, many children in my city had bicycles when I was young, so we often raced around the park. In general, cycling is common because it is affordable and convenient for short trips.

× Yes, I had a pink bicycle that my father gave me for my 8th birthday and I treasured it and used to ride it every umm afternoon around the park and racing with my friends.

✓ Yes, I had a pink bicycle that my father gave me for my 8th birthday, and I treasured it and used to ride it every afternoon around the park, racing with my friends.

Run-on and parallel structure: the verb phrases 'used to ride' and 'racing' should be coordinated. Remove filler 'umm', add a comma before 'and' to separate clauses, and change 'and racing with my friends' to a participle phrase 'racing with my friends' to match 'used to ride'. This keeps the past tense consistent and improves clarity. Grammar problem type ID: 5

× Yes, because I have a lot of friends, my childhood friends that they had, they also had a bike and we race around the park and almost all of the kids in my city, they had a bike, they had a bicycle and they were riding a.

✓ Yes, because I had a lot of childhood friends who also had bikes, we raced around the park, and almost all of the kids in my city had bicycles and rode them.

Multiple issues: tense consistency and subject-verb agreement. The context is past (childhood), so use past tense 'had', 'raced', and 'rode'. Remove redundant pronoun 'they' after 'friends' and replace 'that they had' with the relative clause 'who also had'. Use plural 'bikes' and 'bicycles' consistently and finish the final clause with 'rode them' rather than 'were riding a' which is incomplete. This corrects agreement between subjects and verbs and maintains consistent past-tense narration. Grammar problem type ID: 27