Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, remove fillers, give one brief supporting detail with a linking word. Also correct small phrasing issues (e.g. “falling off the bike”).

例: Yes, I did. However, I rarely rode it because I was afraid of falling off the bike when I was young. As a result, I mostly used scooters or walked short distances instead.

提案: Avoid repetition and speak more directly with clearer linking. Begin with a topic sentence, then provide one or two specific reasons with linking words (e.g. “especially when…”). Remove duplicate words and pause-fillers.

例: Yes, I think bikes are quite popular in our country, especially during the pandemic when public transport was limited. For example, many people used bicycles to commute short distances and run errands because they were cheap and flexible.

× Yes, I did have a bike, but I wasn't able to use it because I was scared of umm, falling down the bike.

✓ Yes, I had a bike, but I wasn't able to use it because I was scared of, um, falling off the bike.

Use simple past 'had' instead of 'did have' for a factual statement about the past; 'did have' is emphatic and unnecessary here. Also, the correct preposition with 'falling' + vehicle is 'off' not 'down'. Include commas around the hesitation 'umm' (written as 'um') for clarity. Suggestion: say 'I had a bike' and 'falling off the bike.'

× I do think that bikes are popular in in our country, especially when the pandemic hit because there were no there was no transportation available.

✓ I do think that bikes are popular in our country, especially when the pandemic hit because there was no transportation available.

Remove the duplicated preposition 'in' and the duplicated clause 'there were no there was no'. Use singular 'there was no transportation' to match uncountable noun 'transportation'. The sentence should be concise: 'popular in our country' and 'there was no transportation available.'

× So bikes are the ones used to travel around.

✓ So people used bikes to travel around.

The original wording is awkward. 'Bikes are the ones used to travel around' is grammatically odd; 'the ones' improperly refers to bikes as agents. Restructure to active voice: 'people used bikes to travel around' which is clearer and fits the past context. Alternatively: 'So bikes were commonly used to travel around.'