Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve clarity, grammar and coherence. Start with a direct topic sentence answering the question, then add 1–2 supporting details using linking words. Avoid fillers (uh, um), correct grammar (e.g., “I want to ride a bike” not “I wanna bike”), and keep to a maximum of five sentences. Be specific about when and why you ride a bike now.

例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child. However, now I want to ride a bike because it is a fun activity and helps me explore nature. For example, I often cycle in the local park on weekends to enjoy fresh air and scenery.

提案: Make the answer more concise and fluent. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give specific reasons and use linking words (for example, because, therefore). Remove fillers and correct awkward phrasing (e.g., “it’s become very popular” not “it's so popular turns now”). Mention one or two concrete examples or statistics if possible.

例: Yes, bikes have become very popular in my country because authorities built dedicated bike lanes. As a result, many young people cycle regularly; for instance, I see dozens of cyclists commuting and riding in parks every morning.

× No, I didn't have a bike. Uh, but now even I'm, uh, sorry too. I wanna bike to have fun, to have a activity and explore the nature.

✓ No, I didn't have a bike. But now I do. I want a bike to have fun, to do activities and to explore nature.

The original contains several sentence structure and word choice issues. 'Uh, but now even I'm, uh, sorry too.' is ungrammatical and unclear; replace with 'But now I do' to answer the current situation. 'Wanna' is informal spoken contraction; use 'want' in writing. 'I wanna bike' is missing an article: use 'a bike' (article error relates to sentence structure). 'to have a activity' uses incorrect article and noun form; use 'to do activities' (plural) or 'to have an activity'—'do activities' is more natural. 'explore the nature' uses unnecessary definite article; use 'explore nature.' Suggestions: keep sentences concise, use correct articles ('a' vs 'an'), use standard forms ('want' instead of 'wanna'), and prefer plural 'activities' when speaking generally.

× Yes uh, since they built uh, special roads for bikes, uh, it's so popular turns now, uh, everywhere, every time you can see they're all young people with bikes and yeah, with bikes around the city and in the park.

✓ Yes. Since they built special bike lanes, cycling has become very popular. Now you can see many young people with bikes everywhere in the city and in the parks.

The original mixes tenses and has awkward expressions. 'Since they built' correctly uses past tense for the action that caused change; the result should be in present perfect or present simple: use 'cycling has become' or 'it is' rather than 'it's so popular turns now.' 'Special roads for bikes' is more naturally 'special bike lanes.' 'Every time you can see they're all young people' is ungrammatical and unclear; use 'Now you can see many young people' and avoid 'they're all.' Also use plural 'parks' if speaking generally. Suggestions: separate cause and effect clearly (past action + present result), use natural vocabulary ('bike lanes', 'cycling'), and keep sentence order logical: cause, effect, examples.