Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and directly answer, then add 1–2 specific supporting details using correct tense and linking words. Avoid repetition and incomplete sentences. Mention when you had it, one concrete detail (model/color) and one short effect or memory. Use past tense consistently for childhood events.

例: Yes, I did. My father bought me a red Honda CD70 when I was about ten, and I rode it to school every day. Because I owned that bike, I felt more independent and my friends admired it, which boosted my confidence.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence, then give 1–2 specific reasons with linking words (for example, because, therefore). Use concise, grammatically correct sentences and avoid vague or repetitive phrases. Use present simple for general truths and be careful with word choice and word order.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in Pakistan. Because many middle-class families cannot afford cars and fuel prices are high, motorcycles are a cheaper and more practical way to travel in cities and towns.

× Yes, I have a bike.

✓ Yes, I had a bike.

The question asks about possession 'when you were a child', which is in the past. Using present tense 'have' is incorrect. Change to past tense 'had' to match the time reference. Suggestion: Use past tense for actions or states that happened in the past (e.g., 'I had a bike').

× When I was a child and my father bought it for me, it was a Honda CD70 in red color.

✓ When I was a child, my father bought it for me; it was a red Honda CD70.

The original sentence uses an awkward conjunction and word order. Remove the unnecessary 'and' after the time clause, place a comma after the time clause, and use natural adjective order ('red Honda CD70'). Suggestion: Use a comma after introductory time clauses and place adjectives before the noun ('a red Honda CD70').

× It was a very amazing bike and it enhanced my personality according to my friends and it's very.

✓ It was an amazing bike, and according to my friends, it enhanced my personality.

'Ammazing' begins with a vowel sound so use the article 'an' not 'a very amazing'. 'Very amazing' is informal and redundant; 'amazing' suffices. The clause 'according to my friends' should be positioned clearly. The ending 'and it's very.' is incomplete and ungrammatical, so remove it. Suggestion: Avoid redundant modifiers and incomplete clauses; ensure each clause is complete (e.g., 'it enhanced my personality').

× Yes, bikes are very much popular in our country because I belong in Pakistan in which persons are very poor, like middle class people and they can't afford cars and the prices of the petrol because the price of petrol is very continuously rising in our country.

✓ Yes, bikes are very popular in our country because I belong to Pakistan, where many people, especially those in the middle class, are not wealthy and cannot afford cars; also, petrol prices have been continuously rising.

Multiple issues: 'very much popular' is non-idiomatic — use 'very popular' or 'quite popular'. Use 'belong to Pakistan' instead of 'belong in Pakistan'. 'In which persons are very poor' is awkward; use 'where many people... are not wealthy'. Use 'cannot' (or can't) for ability in present; 'the prices of the petrol because the price of petrol is very continuously rising' is repetitive and awkward — use 'petrol prices have been continuously rising' to indicate ongoing change. Tense 'have been rising' matches the ongoing nature. Suggestion: Use idiomatic expressions ('very popular'), correct preposition 'belong to', use 'where' for relative location clauses, and use present perfect progressive for actions that started in the past and continue ('have been rising').

× So it's.

✓ So that's why bikes are common.

The fragment 'So it's.' is incomplete and has no clear referent. A complete sentence explaining the result should be used. For example: 'So that's why bikes are common.' Suggestion: Avoid sentence fragments; ensure each sentence has a subject and verb and expresses a complete thought.