Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Shorten and structure the response: start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two concise supporting details using linking words. Use correct tense and avoid extra words like “Please.” Be careful with grammar (use 'when I was 7' not 'since I was 7').

例: Yes. I had a bike when I was seven. One afternoon I rode it too fast and crashed into a fence, which frightened me, but after that I learned to be more careful when cycling.

提案: Answer the question directly with a clear opinion, then add one or two specific reasons or examples. Use correct tense and remove repetitive phrases. Use linking words like 'because' or 'for example' to connect ideas.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because many people use them for exercise and short trips. For example, when I was a child my cousins and I often rode to the park together, which was a common and enjoyable pastime.

× Yes, I got my bike since I was 7 and I remember riding it very fast one afternoon and accidentally crashing into a fence which scared me, but I learned to be more careful afterwards. Please.

✓ Yes, I got my bike when I was 7, and I remember riding it very fast one afternoon and accidentally crashing into a fence, which scared me, but I learned to be more careful afterwards.

The sentence uses 'since I was 7' incorrectly to refer to a past point when the bike was obtained; 'since' requires a continuing period up to the present or a perfect tense (e.g., 'I have had my bike since I was 7'). Because the student is describing a past event, use 'when I was 7'. Also add commas to separate clauses for clarity. Suggestion: use 'when' for a specific past time or change verb tense to present perfect with 'since'.

× Of course, yes, as far as I'm remember we are going to the park with my cousins and we are so happy riding our bike, having fun with them and I have so much fun with them and I was a kid and I will always cherish it with them.

✓ Of course. As far as I remember, we would go to the park with my cousins, and we were very happy riding our bikes and having fun together; I enjoyed it a lot when I was a kid, and I will always cherish those memories.

Multiple issues: 'as far as I'm remember' is incorrect — correct form is 'as far as I remember' (present simple). The sentence mixes present and past tenses inappropriately (e.g., 'we are going' and 'I have so much fun' when describing past habitual actions). Use past tense or a past habitual expression: 'we would go' or 'we went' and 'we were very happy'/'I enjoyed it'. Also use plural 'bikes' to match 'we' (singular/plural agreement). Combine and punctuate clauses to avoid run-on sentence. Suggestions: keep consistent past tense for past memories, correct fixed expression 'as far as I remember', use 'we went' or 'we would go', use 'bikes' and 'together' for natural phrasing, and replace 'it' with 'those memories' for clarity.