Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail. Correct errors (e.g., “enjoyed the festive” → unclear, use “enjoyed socializing” or “enjoyed chatting”). Keep to 2–3 sentences and use a linking word when adding detail.

例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child. Instead, I walked to school with my friends, and I enjoyed chatting and laughing with them along the way.

提案: Make the answer more natural and specific, correct grammar and word choice, and use linking words. Give one or two concrete examples of where or why bikes are popular. Avoid redundancy and unclear phrases (e.g., “institutions” → “schools or universities”; “travelling purpose in on in the mountains” → “for mountain trails” ).

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially among teenagers and young adults. For example, many students cycle to school and university, and others use bikes for short trips or to ride on mountain trails at weekends.

× When I was a child I didn't have a bike so I walked to school because my parents couldn't afford one.

✓ When I was a child I didn't have a bike, so I walked to school because my parents couldn't afford one.

The original sentence is mostly correct in tense but needs a comma before the coordinating conjunction 'so' connecting two independent clauses. Suggestion: place a comma before 'so' when it links two independent clauses to improve clarity.

× I enjoyed the festive and chatting with my friends along the way.

✓ I enjoyed the festivities and chatted with my friends along the way.

Problems: 'the festive' is incorrect because 'festive' is an adjective; the noun 'festivities' is needed (plural). Also 'chatting' as used after 'enjoyed' is possible but the sentence is awkward; using past simple 'chatted' matches the past tense narrative and makes parallel structure. Suggestion: replace 'the festive' with 'the festivities' and use 'chatted' for clear past-tense narration.

× Yes, in my country bikes are more popular amongst the teenager and the youngsters.

✓ Yes, in my country bikes are more popular among teenagers and young people.

Problems: 'the teenager' is singular while context requires plural 'teenagers'; 'the youngsters' is awkward—use 'young people' or 'youngsters' without 'the'. 'Amongst' is acceptable but 'among' is more common. Suggestion: make nouns plural to match plural subject 'bikes' and use natural collocations: 'among teenagers and young people.'

× They use the bike to travel to the institutions where they are studying and also for the travelling purpose in on in the mountains and going to the different locations to enjoy the beauty.

✓ They use bikes to travel to the institutions where they study and also for travelling in the mountains and going to different places to enjoy the scenery.

Multiple issues: 'the bike' should be plural 'bikes' to match general statement (singular/plural agreement). 'Where they are studying' is grammatical but present simple 'where they study' is more natural for habitual actions. 'For the travelling purpose' is unidiomatic; use 'for travelling' or 'for travel'. Extra words 'in on in' are incorrect and likely typos. 'Different locations' is acceptable but 'different places' or 'various places' is more natural; 'enjoy the beauty' should be 'enjoy the scenery' or 'enjoy the beautiful views.' Suggestion: make nouns plural, use simple present for habitual actions, remove redundant words, and choose natural collocations like 'travelling in the mountains' and 'enjoy the scenery.'