Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid hesitations and repetition, and use past-tense consistency. Briefly add one specific supporting detail or feeling using a linking word. Also avoid overly negative phrasing like “we are poor”; instead say “we couldn’t afford one.”

例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child. Because my family couldn’t afford one, I usually walked to school or used public transport, so I didn’t learn to ride until I was a teenager.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and support it with specific reasons using linking words. Avoid filler sounds and repetition; use varied vocabulary (e.g., ‘common,’ ‘widely used,’ ‘convenient’). Provide a brief example or consequence to make the answer more concrete.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are traditional and inexpensive. Moreover, they are environmentally friendly and convenient for short trips, so many people use them for commuting and running errands.

× I didn't have a bike when I was a child because, uh, my family can't afford the bike because we are poor.

✓ I didn't have a bike when I was a child because my family couldn't afford one; we were poor.

Mixing past and present tenses: 'didn't have' is past, so the reason should also be in past tense. 'can't afford' should be 'couldn't afford' and 'we are poor' should be 'we were poor' to match the past time frame. Also replace 'the bike' with 'one' to avoid implying a specific bike and remove filler words and redundant 'because'. Suggested improvement: keep tense consistent (use past for past situations), use 'couldn't' as the past form of 'can't', and use 'one' or no article when speaking generically. '

× Yes, I think bikes are popular in our country because, uh, it's uh, very traditional and bike is very essential because it doesn't need gasoline.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are popular in our country because they are very traditional and bikes are essential since they don't need gasoline.

Subject-pronoun and verb agreement errors: the sentence mixes singular and plural references. 'It's very traditional' refers to 'bikes' which is plural, so use 'they are'. Also 'bike is very essential' should be plural 'bikes are essential'. 'It doesn't need gasoline' should be 'they don't need gasoline' to agree with plural subject. Suggested improvement: ensure pronouns and verbs agree in number with their antecedents; use 'they' and 'don't' for plural 'bikes', and reduce filler words for clarity. '