Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Focus on clear, grammatical sentences and a simple structure: give a direct topic sentence answering the question, then one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repeating phrases and irrelevant fragments. Use correct tense (past) and keep to 2–4 sentences. Add linking words like "because" or "for example" to connect ideas and give one clear favourite bike with a short reason.

例: Yes, I had several bikes when I was a child. I loved riding with my friends after school because it was fun and kept me active. My favourite was a small red bike my parents gave me when I was five because it had training wheels and I felt confident learning to ride.

提案: Start with a clear direct answer (Yes/No), then give two specific reasons with linking words (for example, however). Use vocabulary accurately (e.g., "environmentally friendly", "good for health"). Avoid unclear words and filler sounds. Keep sentences concise and coherent, and provide a short observation about when people tend to cycle or drive.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country. For example, many people cycle because it is environmentally friendly and good for their health. However, in the mornings many people still prefer to drive cars for convenience and speed.

× Honestly, yes, in my childhood I have got many bikes and because I am a kind of person who's really keen on to ride the bikes, especially with my friends and this really kind of activity for doing with them.

✓ Honestly, yes, in my childhood I had many bikes because I was the kind of person who was really keen on riding bikes, especially with my friends; this was an activity I enjoyed doing with them.

The original uses present perfect 'have got' and present 'am' and 'who's' which do not fit the past time frame 'in my childhood'. Use simple past 'had' and 'was' for past habits. 'keen on to ride' is incorrect; the structure is 'keen on' + gerund, so use 'keen on riding'. Also 'the bikes' and 'this really kind of activity for doing with them' are awkward; rephrase to 'riding bikes' and 'an activity I enjoyed doing with them'. Suggestion: Match verb tenses to the time reference, use 'keen on' + -ing, and simplify awkward noun phrases.

× And in my childhood I have drawn so many kinds of wax, as I say.

✓ And in my childhood I drew many kinds of wagons, as I said.

'Have drawn' (present perfect) conflicts with 'in my childhood' (past); use simple past 'drew'. The word 'wax' is likely a wrong word choice; context suggests 'wagons' or 'bikes accessories'—here 'wagons' is a plausible correction. If the student meant 'wax' (for bikes), reword to 'I used a lot of wax'. Also 'as I say' should be past 'as I said'. Suggestion: Use simple past for past time references and choose the correct noun; check word choice and match tense in the clause.

× Is this really good? If you ask me a favorite, I would say it's about my 5H because of in this age, my family members gave me so many kind of bikes, especially for.

✓ Is that really good? If you ask me about my favorite, I would say it was when I was five years old because at that age my family members gave me many kinds of bikes.

The sentence is disjointed and uses incorrect fragments. 'If you ask me a favorite' should be 'If you ask me about my favorite (time/thing)'. 'My 5H' is unclear; likely 'when I was five'. 'Because of in this age' is incorrect preposition and tense; use 'at that age'. 'Gave me so many kind of bikes' has quantifier and noun agreement errors: use 'many kinds of bikes' or 'many bikes'. Remove trailing 'especially for' which is incomplete. Suggestion: Clarify reference (age), use 'at that age', correct quantifiers and complete the clause.

× Do steam bags? Honestly yes, bikes are so popular in my country especially among others because of the alkinion to riding bikes.

✓ Do you mean 'steam bags'? Honestly, yes; bikes are very popular in my country, especially among people who enjoy riding bikes.

The fragment 'Do steam bags?' is unclear; perhaps the student misheard or used wrong words. 'Especially among others because of the alkinion to riding bikes' contains a non-word 'alkinion' and wrong prepositions. Replace with 'among people who enjoy riding bikes'. Ensure the subject 'people' is present. Suggestion: Clarify the initial question or phrase, use 'among people' and a clear explanation phrase 'who enjoy riding bikes'.

× Then the drive cars because of it has many positive sites such as uh, friendly for environment and also it's really useful for their health there.

✓ Then they drive cars because cars have many positive aspects such as being environmentally friendly and also being good for people's health.

Pronoun usage is confusing: 'the drive cars' should be 'they drive cars' or 'people drive cars'. 'It has many positive sites' misuses 'it' and 'sites' (should be 'aspects' or 'advantages'). 'Friendly for environment' should be 'environmentally friendly' and 'useful for their health' is better as 'good for people's health'. Suggestion: Use clear subject pronouns ('they' or 'people'), correct noun choice ('aspects/advantages'), and proper adjective forms ('environmentally friendly').

× But they always try to ride back then drive a cars especially we can see in the mornings.

✓ But they often cycle and then drive cars, especially in the mornings when we can see this.

'Always try to ride back then drive a cars' is ungrammatical. Tense and aspect: use 'often' rather than 'always try' for habitual action. 'Drive a cars' has article and plural errors; use 'drive cars'. 'Ride back' is unclear; 'cycle' or 'ride bikes' is clearer. Also rearrange phrase 'especially we can see in the mornings' to 'especially in the mornings when we can see this'. Suggestion: Use consistent present simple for habitual actions, correct articles and pluralization, and put time adverbials in natural positions.