Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar, sentence structure, and clarity. Begin with a clear topic sentence (past tense), then add one or two short supporting details using linking words. Correct pronoun and article use, and avoid redundant phrases. For example, use 'I had a black bike' rather than 'I have one bike with the black one.'

例: I had a black bicycle when I was a child. It was my favorite toy, and I rode it to school and around the neighborhood almost every day. Because I practiced often, I became quite confident riding on busy streets.

提案: Improve coherence, vocabulary, and grammar. Start with a direct opinion sentence, then support it with specific, connected reasons using linking words (for example, 'because' or 'as a result'). Correct awkward phrases (e.g. 'in my city' not 'in my CD') and verb forms ('people are choosing bikes instead of cars').

例: Yes, I think bicycles are becoming more popular in my country. This is because there is a growing trend towards eco-friendly living, and many people are choosing bikes instead of cars for short trips. As a result, cities are adding bike lanes and more people ride for exercise and commuting.

× Yes, I have one bike with the black one.

✓ Yes, I had one bike, a black one.

The student used present tense 'have' but the question asked about childhood (past). This is a tense error (use past). Also 'one bike with the black one' is ungrammatical; use an article and noun phrase 'a black one' or 'a black bike'. Suggestion: use past tense 'had' and correct noun phrase order: 'I had one bike, a black one.' Grammar problem type ID: 22

× I really enjoy biking.

✓ I really enjoyed biking.

Context is past (speaking about childhood), so present tense 'enjoy' is inconsistent. Change to past tense 'enjoyed' to match time frame. Suggestion: use past tense when referring to past habits or experiences: 'I really enjoyed biking.' Grammar problem type ID: 6

× From my own view, I think riding a bike is very popular.

✓ In my view, riding a bike is very popular.

Phrase 'From my own view' is awkward and nonstandard. Use 'In my view' or 'From my point of view.' Suggestion: use established phrases for expressing opinion: 'In my view' or 'From my point of view.' Grammar problem type ID: 26

× In my CD the trend of eco living is rising.

✓ In my city, the trend of eco-friendly living is rising.

'CD' is unclear; likely intended 'city.' Also 'eco living' is better as 'eco-friendly living.' Missing comma after introductory phrase. Suggestion: replace abbreviation with full word 'city' and use correct adjective form: 'eco-friendly living.' Grammar problem type ID: 11

× Many people were used up by instead of the car or the public transportation.

✓ Many people have given up using cars and public transportation instead.

Original sentence is ungrammatical and confused. 'Were used up by instead of' is incorrect structure. The intended meaning is people stopped using cars or public transport; use 'have given up using cars and public transportation' or 'have switched from cars and public transport.' Suggestion: use 'give up' + gerund or 'stop using' and list items in parallel form: 'cars and public transportation.' Grammar problem type ID: 26