Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatical. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid fillers (uh, um) and correct grammar (e.g., “my dad gave it to me,” “it took him around two days to teach me”). Keep your answer to no more than five sentences.

例: Yes. I got my first bike when I was ten; my dad gave it to me as a birthday present. He taught me how to ride it, and it took him about two days to feel confident. I remember being very excited because it let me explore the neighborhood on my own.

提案: Give a direct, structured answer: state your opinion clearly, then support it with specific reasons or examples. Use linking words (because, for example, however) and avoid repetition and hesitations. Be precise: say whether bikes are currently popular or were more popular in the past, and explain why.

例: Yes, I think bikes have been very popular in rural areas. For example, I grew up in a village where most people used bicycles to get to school and market because they are cheap and practical. However, in recent years some people prefer motorbikes or cars for longer trips.

× My dad gave to me as my birthday gift.

✓ My dad gave me it as my birthday gift.

The verb 'gave' is correct past tense, but the object placement is wrong. In English, with a verb like 'give' followed by two objects, the indirect object (me) typically comes before the direct object without 'to' (gave me the gift) or you use 'gave ... to' with the direct object first (gave the gift to me). Use 'gave me it' or better 'gave me my first bike as a birthday gift.'

× Uh, it was wonderful.

✓ It was wonderful.

This is a minor fluency issue rather than grammar, but filler 'Uh' should be removed for clarity in written responses. The sentence is simple past and correct; removing the filler makes it formally correct.

× I liked it very much uh, it was really great and by the way, he, the one who taught me how to ride it uh, take him around 2 days just.

✓ I liked it very much. It was really great. By the way, the person who taught me how to ride it took me about two days to learn.

Multiple problems: run-on sentence and incorrect verb forms. 'take him around 2 days just' is incorrect order and pronoun use. Use past tense 'took' to match earlier past context, and correct pronoun 'me' (not him) and time expression 'about two days.' Break into shorter sentences for clarity.

× Yes, it is very, it actually, it used to be very popular.

✓ Yes, it actually used to be very popular.

Redundant and awkward present tense phrasing 'it is very, it actually' conflicts with the past habit 'used to.' Use 'actually used to be' to indicate past popularity. Keep tense consistent.

× Most of my, uh, by the way, I was born, I'll, I was born and brought up in a village, uh, so most of the villagers, uh, villagers says used bikes to go to schools, uh, to do their uh, uh, rather.

✓ I was born and raised in a village, so most of the villagers used bicycles to go to school.

Several errors: redundant phrases and wrong verb forms. Use 'born and raised' (common collocation) rather than 'born and brought up.' 'Villagers says' is subject-verb disagreement; 'villagers used' matches plural subject. 'Used bikes' is awkward; 'used bicycles' or 'used bikes' is fine, and 'to go to school' (singular) is correct. Remove fillers and unclear ending 'to do their rather.'