Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more grammatical: start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Use past tense consistently when talking about childhood, avoid repetition and filler, and keep it within 3–4 sentences. Add a linking word when you add details (e.g., "and", "because", "so").

例: Yes. I had a bike when I was five years old. My father bought it for me and taught me how to ride, which made me very excited. I remember practicing in the park every weekend until I felt confident.

提案: Give a clear opinion with specific reasons and use correct grammar. Start with a direct statement, then provide two concrete reasons using linking words (e.g., "because", "so", "however"). Avoid vague words like "influx" and remove fillers like "umm."

例: I don't think bikes are very popular in my country because many roads are unsafe for cyclists and drivers often don't respect bike lanes. As a result, people prefer cars or public transport for safety and convenience.

× Yes, I do when I was five years old, my dad bought a bike for me, was my first bike and I learned how to He talked to me how to ride a bike and was really.

✓ Yes. When I was five years old, my dad bought a bike for me. It was my first bike, and I learned how to ride it because he taught me. I really enjoyed it.

Multiple tense and sentence structure errors: the student mixes present tense 'I do' with past tense 'when I was five years old'. Sentences are run-ons and missing subjects/verbs ('was my first bike', 'learned how to He talked to me'). Correct by using past tense consistently for past events, splitting into clear sentences, adding missing subject and object pronouns ('it'), and replacing incorrect verb 'He talked to me' with 'he taught me'. Suggestion: keep past events in past tense and write one complete idea per sentence.

× Bikes are not popular in my country because umm they are not influx to tour for cycling and the driver don't do not respect to the others on the road.

✓ Bikes are not popular in my country because there are not enough facilities for cycling, and drivers do not respect other road users.

Preposition and word choice errors: 'influx to tour for cycling' is incorrect and unclear; correct phrase is 'facilities for cycling' or 'infrastructure for cycling'. Also 'respect to the others' uses incorrect preposition; use 'respect other road users' or 'respect others on the road'. Additionally, 'the driver don't do not' combines double negatives and wrong subject-verb agreement. Fix by using plural 'drivers do not' and removing double negative. Suggestion: use clear nouns like 'infrastructure' or 'facilities' and 'respect other road users'; ensure subject-verb agreement and avoid double negatives.