Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence (“No, I didn’t.”), give one or two specific reasons using correct tense and vocabulary, and avoid filler sounds (uh, um). Use linking words to combine ideas (for example, because, so). Also correct common grammar errors: use past simple (“was” instead of “were”) and correct nouns (“a bike” vs “a back” — likely you meant “a bike” or “a car”).

例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child because my family couldn’t afford one. As a result, I usually walked to school or shared rides with neighbors.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and add one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Remove filler words and slightly vary vocabulary (e.g., convenient, efficient, affordable). Mention examples or brief comparisons to strengthen the answer.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular now because they are convenient and inexpensive. For example, many people use bicycles to commute short distances since traffic is often heavy and bikes can be faster than cars in crowded areas.

× Actually, no, because, uh, as, uh, when I were a child, the economic uh, uh, was so bad, so.

✓ Actually, no, because when I was a child, the economy was so bad.

The sentence contains a subject-verb agreement/tense error: 'I were' should be 'I was' (simple past for first person). Also 'the economic ... was so bad' is incorrect word choice and noun form: use the noun 'economy' with past tense 'was'. Remove filler words (uh) and extra conjunctions for clarity. Suggestion: Use 'when I was a child' for past time and 'the economy was so bad' to describe economic conditions.

× Our home not have a back.

✓ Our home did not have a backyard.

This sentence uses incorrect negation and noun choice. English requires auxiliary 'did' for negation in simple past: 'did not have'. 'Back' is not the correct noun for an outdoor area; 'backyard' is appropriate. Also word order must be Subject + auxiliary + negation + verb: 'Our home did not have a backyard.' Suggestion: Use 'did not have' for past negative and the correct noun 'backyard'.

× Yes, now, uh, they are so popular in our country because it's so convenient and uh, and sometimes traffic is so busy, so by bike you can be faster.

✓ Yes, now they are very popular in our country because they are convenient, and when traffic is busy you can get somewhere faster by bike.

Minor issues: redundant fillers and awkward phrasing. 'It's so convenient' is unclear—replace with plural subject 'they are convenient' to agree with 'bikes'. Use 'when traffic is busy' rather than 'sometimes traffic is so busy' for clarity. 'You can be faster' is unnatural; use 'you can get somewhere faster' or 'you can travel faster'. Suggestion: Ensure subject-verb agreement with plural subject 'bikes' and use natural expressions like 'get somewhere faster'.