Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is relevant but needs clearer structure, fuller sentences, and more specific details. Start with a direct topic sentence, add one or two supporting details linked with connectors, and avoid incomplete phrases (e.g., finish “it saved” with what it saved). Also vary vocabulary (e.g., use “bicycle” sometimes) and keep to no more than five sentences.

例: Yes, I had a bicycle when I was a child. My father bought it for me when I was in the fifth grade, and I used it to travel to school every day. Because of the bike, I could reach school on time and I saved money on transport. I also enjoyed riding it with friends in the afternoons.

提案: The answer is short and repeats ideas; it ends abruptly. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons or examples using linking words (for example, because, therefore). Avoid incomplete sentences and general phrases like “personal benefits” without explanation. Use varied vocabulary (e.g., motorcycles, scooters, bicycles, commute).

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are affordable and convenient for short journeys. For example, many students and office workers ride bicycles or scooters to avoid traffic and save on fuel. In rural areas, people also prefer bikes because they are easy to maintain and suitable for narrow roads.

× Yes, I had one bike when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child.

Using 'one bike' is grammatically acceptable but sounds unnatural in this context; native speakers typically say 'a bike'. Use the singular indefinite article 'a' with countable nouns when mentioning something for the first time. ID:1

× My father bought me when I was in fifth standard.

✓ My father bought it for me when I was in fifth grade.

The original sentence omits the object after 'bought' and uses 'bought me' which implies he purchased the child. Also 'fifth standard' is nonstandard in many English varieties; 'fifth grade' or 'in grade five' is preferred. Add the object 'it' and the preposition 'for' to show purpose. ID:26

× It was really helpful to reach school on time and also it saved.

✓ It really helped me reach school on time and also saved me time.

The original uses an infinitive 'to reach' awkwardly and the clause 'it saved' is incomplete (saved what?). Change 'was really helpful to reach' to the active 'helped me reach' and specify what was saved: 'saved me time.' This fixes missing objects and improves sentence flow. ID:26

× A large number of people use bike for their daily purpose.

✓ A large number of people use bikes for their daily needs.

After expressions like 'a large number of,' the noun should be plural: 'bikes.' Also 'daily purpose' is unnatural; use 'daily needs' or 'daily travel.' ID:1

× For example, some people use bikes for personal benefits such as.

✓ For example, some people use bikes for personal reasons, such as commuting to work or running errands.

The sentence ends abruptly with 'such as' and lacks examples. Complete the sentence by providing examples after 'such as.' Also replace 'personal benefits' with 'personal reasons' for natural phrasing. ID:26