Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatically complete. Start with a clear topic sentence then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct small grammar issues (e.g., "my friend's bike" -> possessive, and complete the reason clause: "because my family couldn't afford one"). Avoid repeating similar words ("ride around the neighborhood" is fine once).

例: No, I didn't own a bike as a child. Instead, I often borrowed a friend's bike to ride around the neighborhood because my family couldn't afford one, so I usually rode only on weekends.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and then add two specific, well-linked reasons with correct vocabulary and grammar. Use linking words (for example, "because", "also", "for example"). Fix collocations: say "city centres" or "city center" and "short commutes" instead of "short communication". Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, bicycles are very popular in my country because they help people avoid heavy traffic and are much cheaper than cars. Also, many people prefer cycling for short commutes since it is convenient and reduces air pollution, for example on trips to nearby shops or work.

× I usually borrowed my friend's bike to ride around the neighborhood because my family couldn't afford.

✓ I usually borrowed my friends' bikes to ride around the neighborhood because my family couldn't afford one.

The original uses friend's (singular) while meaning 'bikes belonging to friends' or repeated borrowing from different friends; use plural possessive friends'. Also 'couldn't afford' needs an object: 'afford one' or 'afford a bike'. Additionally, if borrowing was habitual in the past, 'borrowed' is fine; ensure agreement between plural noun and verb by using 'bikes' or rephrase to 'my friend's bike' and 'borrowed it'. Suggestion: if it was a single friend, write 'my friend's bike and I borrowed it'; if multiple friends, 'my friends' bikes'.

× Many people use them to avoid traffic, heavy traffic in city centres and because they are cheaper than car.

✓ Many people use them to avoid traffic congestion in city centres and because they are cheaper than cars.

The phrase 'heavy traffic' is redundant with 'avoid traffic'; use 'traffic congestion' for clarity. 'Car' is a singular count noun but compared with 'they' should be plural: 'cars'. Also parallel structure: 'to avoid X and because they are Y' is awkward; revised to keep parallel reasons: 'to avoid traffic congestion in city centres and because they are cheaper than cars.' Suggestion: keep noun numbers consistent and maintain parallel structure when listing reasons.

× Cycling also helps reduce air pollution and especially for short communication.

✓ Cycling also helps reduce air pollution and is especially useful for short journeys.

The phrase 'especially for short communication' is incorrect: 'communication' is wrong in this context; the intended word is 'commutes' or 'journeys'. Also the clause lacks a verb; inserting 'is' and an adjective 'useful' fixes the structure. Use 'short journeys' or 'short commutes' as the appropriate noun phrase. Suggestion: use context-appropriate nouns (journeys/commutes) and complete the clause with a verb to form a proper sentence.