Study— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cần trả lời trực tiếp và tự nhiên hơn, rút gọn câu tránh lặp từ và sửa lỗi ngữ pháp. Nên bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề rõ ràng, sau đó nêu một hoặc hai chi tiết hỗ trợ cụ thể (ví dụ loại hoạt động ngoại khóa bạn tham gia và mục tiêu học tập). Tránh dùng từ lặp như “sometimes” và “also” cùng lúc, và sửa lỗi số nhiều/số ít (extracurricular classes).

例: I'm a secondary school student. I also take extracurricular classes in creative writing and public speaking to develop my skills and prepare for competitions.

提案: Cần câu trả lời ngắn gọn, mạch lạc và sửa lỗi ngữ pháp/ vocabulary (a inter -> an inter-level; covered all from -> covering all levels from; lifting -> moving). Dùng liên từ hợp lý, tránh câu quá dài; cung cấp một chi tiết cụ thể về trường để làm rõ câu trả lời.

例: I study at Huangmai Start School, an inter-level school covering primary to upper secondary education. Because it includes all grades, many students can spend their whole school life there.

提案: Trả lời có cấu trúc: nêu quan điểm, giải thích lý do rõ ràng với ví dụ cụ thể. Sửa ngữ pháp và từ vựng (prioritize while routed development -> prioritizes holistic development; international student -> international exchange programs). Tránh lỗi collocation (focusing poorly) và làm câu rõ ràng, mạch lạc bằng cách dùng liên từ phù hợp.

例: Yes, I think it's an excellent place to study because the school prioritizes holistic development rather than only academics. For example, we have debating competitions and international exchange programs that help students gain confidence and global experience.

提案: Cần diễn đạt ngắn gọn, sửa lỗi ngữ pháp (many competition -> many competitions; over overwhelming -> overwhelming) và dùng liên từ để kết nối ý. Nên nêu đề xuất cụ thể về thay đổi (ví dụ giảm số bài kiểm tra hoặc dàn trải lịch thi) và kết hợp lý do/bối cảnh.

例: I'm generally satisfied, but I would reduce the examination workload slightly. Because we take part in many competitions, spreading assessments more evenly would help reduce stress and improve performance.

提案: Cần rõ ràng hơn về kế hoạch và dùng ngôn ngữ trang trọng hơn (avoid 'wanna', 'uh'). Sửa cấu trúc câu và ngữ pháp để bày tỏ ý định cụ thể: làm portfolio, thi chứng chỉ quốc tế, mục tiêu là ứng tuyển vào đại học. Tránh câu mơ hồ (competition... dangerous) và hoàn thiện ý cuối cùng.

例: In the short term, I plan to build a strong portfolio for university applications by participating in competitions and earning international certificates such as IELTS or Cambridge exams, which I believe will strengthen my chances of admission.

× I'm currently a student in a secondary school, but sometimes I also participate in some extracurricular class to improve my talent.

✓ I'm currently a student at a secondary school, but sometimes I also participate in some extracurricular classes to improve my talents.

Use 'at' with places of study (preposition choice) and pluralize countable noun 'class' to 'classes' when referring to more than one; 'talent' should be plural 'talents' if referring to multiple abilities or keep singular with 'my talent' if singular. Suggestion: use 'at a secondary school' and 'extracurricular classes' for natural English.

× I'm studying in Huangmai Start school which is a inter level school which is covered all from a primary education to upper secondary school.

✓ I'm studying at Huangmai Start School, which is an inter-level school covering everything from primary education to upper secondary school.

Use 'at' for schools; capitalize proper noun 'School'; use article 'an' before vowel sound 'inter'; 'inter-level' hyphenated as adjective; 'covering' (verb form) is correct instead of 'is covered all from'; 'everything from' is natural. Suggestion: 'at Huangmai Start School, which is an inter-level school covering everything from primary to upper secondary.'

× So basically students can spend their entire school life here without lifting to another school.

✓ So basically students can spend their entire school life here without moving to another school.

Verb 'lifting' is incorrect in context; use 'moving' (verb choice). Subject-verb agreement is okay but verb must match meaning. Suggestion: replace 'lifting to' with 'moving to' or 'transferring to'.

× I highly value my school environment over traditional public school.

✓ I highly value my school environment over traditional public schools.

Mismatch in number: 'public school' should be plural 'public schools' to compare categories; 'value ... over' is fine. Suggestion: use plural when making a general comparison: 'traditional public schools.'

× Instead of focusing poorly on academic knowledge, my school prioritize while routed development is open up a wealth of opportunities for me, like a debating competition or international student.

✓ Instead of focusing narrowly on academic knowledge, my school prioritizes well-rounded development, which opens up a wealth of opportunities for me, such as debating competitions or international student programs.

Subject 'my school' requires singular verb 'prioritizes' (subject-verb agreement). 'Focusing poorly' is unnatural; use 'focusing narrowly' or 'focusing only'; 'while routed development is open up' is ungrammatical — use 'well-rounded development, which opens up'. Use plural 'competitions' and clarify 'international student programs'. Suggestion: 'my school prioritizes well-rounded development, which opens up opportunities such as debating competitions or international exchange programs.'

× To be honest, I am already very satisfied with my school, but if I had to choose one thing to change, it would be the examination workload.

✓ To be honest, I am already very satisfied with my school, but if I had to choose one thing to change, it would be the examination workload.

Sentence is grammatically correct; no article error. Keep as is. Suggestion: none needed.

× Since we are encouraged to participate in many competition, the academic pressure can sometimes be over overwhelming.

✓ Since we are encouraged to participate in many competitions, the academic pressure can sometimes be overwhelming.

Use plural 'competitions' (quantifier agreement with 'many'); 'over overwhelming' is redundant — use 'overwhelming' alone. Suggestion: 'many competitions' and 'sometimes overwhelming.'

× In the short term, I wanna build an impressive portfolio to create a mission to university.

✓ In the short term, I want to build an impressive portfolio to gain admission to university.

Use standard 'want to' instead of colloquial 'wanna' for formal speech. 'Create a mission to university' is incorrect; use 'gain admission to university' or 'apply to university'. Tense 'want' (present) is appropriate. Suggestion: 'I want to build an impressive portfolio to gain admission to university.'

× You know, a competition of national exchange exam is very, uh, dangerous, so I want to avoid it by international certificate, I believe a strong.

✓ You know, the national exchange exam competition is very high-stakes, so I want to avoid it by obtaining international certificates; I believe that a strong portfolio will help.

Original sentence has multiple structural problems: 'a competition of national exchange exam' should be 'the national exchange exam competition'; 'very, uh, dangerous' is inappropriate—use 'high-stakes' or 'stressful'; 'avoid it by international certificate' needs 'by obtaining international certificates'; final fragment 'I believe a strong' is incomplete—clarify 'I believe that a strong portfolio will help.' Suggestion: break into two clearer clauses and use proper nouns/articles and verbs: 'obtain' and 'certificates.'