Study— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Keep the answer concise and directly state your status first. Use correct verb forms and clearer sentence structure: start with a simple topic sentence (I am a primary school teacher / I am a student), then add one or two specific reasons or benefits. Avoid unrelated phrases and limit to 2–3 short sentences.

例: I am a primary school teacher. This job helps me build confidence and improve practical skills like classroom management and lesson planning.

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence naming the school or its location. Use correct grammar (present simple) and specific details (name, location, facilities). Use linking words if adding details (for example, and, also). Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: I studied at a well-known school in the centre of the city. It has good facilities, such as a playground and clean drinking water.

提案: Answer directly then support with specific, coherent reasons. Fix repetition and grammar (e.g., 'they provide' once). Provide two clear supporting points linked by because/and. Avoid unclear phrases.

例: Yes, it is a very good place to study because students receive fair access to academic resources. In addition, the school offers scholarships to high-achieving students.

提案: State one clear change you would make, then explain why and give a specific example. Use correct verb forms (I would provide / I would like the school to provide). Keep it concise with linking words (for example, because, such as).

例: Yes. I would like the school to provide free basic supplies to students who cannot afford them, such as textbooks, pencils and shoes, because this would help them participate fully in class.

提案: Give a direct, coherent plan: start with a topic sentence about what you plan to study or learn. Then add one or two specific objectives and how you will achieve them. Avoid fragmented words and irrelevant adjectives. Use linking words (for example, and, so that) and keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: I plan to study graphic design to develop my creative skills and improve my career opportunities. I will take online courses and practice by creating projects so I can build a portfolio and gain confidence.

× When I walk as the teacher at primary school because sometime I feel low energy, with the help of this profession, I can gain confidence and improve my practical skills such as a classroom management and lesson planning.

✓ I work as a primary school teacher; sometimes I feel low energy, but this profession helps me gain confidence and improve practical skills such as classroom management and lesson planning.

The original sentence has multiple structure problems: incorrect verb 'walk' instead of 'work', misplaced subordinate clauses, and awkward punctuation. This matches 'Sentence structure errors' (ID 26). Suggestions: use the correct verb 'work', split ideas with a semicolon or separate sentences, use 'sometimes' (not 'sometime'), replace 'a classroom management' with 'classroom management' (no article), and use 'helps me' to show result.

× I have a studied and I got my school which is located in the centre of the city and it is a well known school.

✓ I studied at a school which is located in the centre of the city, and it is a well-known school.

The original uses incorrect verb forms 'have a studied' and 'got' for past simple description. This matches 'Past tense issue' (ID 5). Correction: use 'studied' for past activity, and 'studied at a school' for correct preposition. Use hyphen in 'well-known'.

× They provide various facility to the students such as water laxity, playground.

✓ They provide various facilities to students, such as drinking water and a playground.

The noun 'facility' should be plural when referring to multiple items; this is a quantifier/noun number issue (ID 14). Also 'water laxity' is incorrect; likely 'drinking water'. Add article 'a' for 'playground' or keep uncountable with context. Suggestion: use 'various facilities' and list correct facility names.

× Yes, it is a very good place to study because they provide provide academic information without any discrimination and I also have to go to a new students who are within subjects and provide some scholarship to brilliant student.

✓ Yes, it is a very good place to study because they provide academic support without discrimination, and they also welcome new students for different subjects and offer scholarships to brilliant students.

This sentence has repetition ('provide provide'), unclear phrases ('I also have to go to a new students who are within subjects'), and agreement errors. It matches 'Sentence structure errors' (ID 26). Fix by simplifying: 'provide academic support', remove 'any', correct plural 'students' and 'scholarships', and make subject consistent ('they').

× I would like to make some changes where I studied at school.

✓ I would like to make some changes at the school where I studied.

Word order is awkward. This is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Place 'at the school' before 'where I studied' for natural English.

× 1st of all, I provide some material or resources to the communities students who are not able to purchase such as books, pencil or shoes.

✓ First of all, I would provide materials or resources to community students who cannot afford them, such as books, pencils, or shoes.

Errors include incorrect verb tense/choice ('I provide' should be conditional/wish), wrong quantifier/noun forms ('material' should be plural 'materials'; 'pencil' should be 'pencils'), and 'communities students' should be 'community students' or 'students in the community'. This matches 'Incorrect use of quantifiers' (ID 14) and also sentence structure; focus correction on quantifiers and plurality.

× Opportunity.

✓ I want to have more opportunities for my future studies.

Single-word response 'Opportunity.' is incomplete and lacks a verb—this is a sentence structure error (ID 26, also 'Sentence without a verb' ID 23). Provide a full sentence that fits the question about future study plans.

× And fried, bizarre and often gave some promotional culture backgrounds and build my confidence.

✓ I have had diverse and sometimes challenging cultural experiences that helped build my confidence.

The original contains incorrect words 'fried' and 'bizarre' used awkwardly and wrong tense/forms like 'gave' and 'build'. This is an 'Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs' (ID 13) combined with tense issues; corrected to use appropriate adjectives ('diverse', 'challenging') and past tense 'helped build'.

× Also, I can design my skills such as graphic design.

✓ I can also develop skills such as graphic design.

The phrase 'design my skills' is incorrect; this is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Use 'develop' or 'improve' skills. Place 'also' naturally and keep 'graphic design' as an example skill.