Study— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct small grammar errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two supporting details using linking words. Avoid run-on sentences and repetition.

例: I'm currently a student and about to graduate. During my studies I completed an internship at ABC Technology, where I worked on web development modules and enjoyed both the coding work and the friendly workplace. After graduation I plan to rejoin them as a full-time developer.

提案: Use accurate names and correct prepositions, keep statements factual and avoid exaggeration. Give one specific supporting detail about the college to make your answer more credible.

例: I study at Samridhi College, which is affiliated with Tribhuvan University. Tribhuvan University is well-known in Nepal for its diverse programs; for example, it offers extensive courses in engineering and management.

提案: Correct grammar and word choice, avoid absolute claims without specifics, and limit to maximum five sentences. Provide one or two concrete examples (teacher support, facilities) and use linking words to connect points.

例: Yes, it's a good place to study. The teachers are experienced and provide helpful feedback, and the campus has well-equipped libraries and a cooperative administrative staff. Because of these facilities, I would recommend the college to other students.

提案: Avoid hesitations and repetition. Begin with a clear opinion, then give specific details and a reason using linking words. Correct small phrasing errors and keep it concise.

例: Yes, I would improve the library. Although it has many textbooks, it lacks fiction and leisure reading; adding more novels and magazines would make the library more inviting and encourage students to read in their free time.

提案: Avoid fillers and repeated words. Start with a clear topic sentence about current priorities, then outline future intentions with linking words. Use correct verb forms and smoother phrasing.

例: I don't have immediate study plans; my priority is to secure an internship and then a job in web development. After gaining work experience, I may consider pursuing a graduate degree in the same field to specialize further.

× Currently I'm a student but I'm about to graduate soon.

✓ Currently I'm a student, but I'm about to graduate soon.

The sentence needs a comma before the conjunction 'but' joining two independent clauses. This is a punctuation/structure issue closely related to present tense usage; adding the comma clarifies clause separation and improves readability. Suggestion: place a comma before 'but' when connecting two full clauses.

× However, I did an internship in ABC Technology where I worked on web development modules and after graduating I plan to rejoin the company as a full time employee since I like the coding and the environment there was really nice.

✓ However, I did an internship at ABC Technology where I worked on web-development modules, and after graduating I plan to rejoin the company as a full-time employee because I like coding and the environment there was really nice.

Multiple issues: use of preposition 'at' (Incorrect use of prepositions), compound sentence punctuation, adjective form 'full-time' (article/compound adjective), and redundant 'the' before 'coding'. Also mixing past description 'the environment there was really nice' within the same clause is acceptable but clearer separated. Suggestions: use 'at' for companies, hyphenate 'full-time' as a compound adjective, remove 'the' before uncountable noun 'coding', and add a comma before 'and' joining independent clauses.

× I attend Samridhi College which is affiliated from Tribhuvan University.

✓ I attend Samridhi College, which is affiliated with Tribhuvan University.

Affiliated pairs with the preposition 'with' or 'to', not 'from'. Also add a comma before the nonrestrictive relative clause 'which is affiliated with...'. Suggestion: use 'affiliated with' and include the comma to set off nonessential information.

× Tribunal University is one of the high-ranking and renowned universities in whole Asia for its wide range of curriculum and other activities.

✓ Tribhuvan University is one of the high-ranking and renowned universities in all of Asia because of its wide range of curricula and various activities.

Several problems: proper noun was misspelled ('Tribhuvan'), use 'in whole Asia' is incorrect — use 'in all of Asia', 'curriculum' as countable plural here should be 'curricula', and 'other activities' is vague — 'various activities' is clearer. Suggestion: correct proper names, use 'in all of Asia', and pluralize 'curricula' when referring to multiple courses or programs.

× Absolutely, it's one of the best places to study and the teachers are really experience and the fees are reasonable.

✓ Absolutely, it's one of the best places to study, the teachers are very experienced, and the fees are reasonable.

'Experience' is a noun; the correct adjective is 'experienced'. Also add commas to separate clauses and change 'really' to 'very' before 'experienced' for natural collocation. Suggestion: use adjectives for people (experienced) and punctuate lists with commas.

× Also the environment there or staff management along with the libraries and the cantons are top notch.

✓ Also the environment, staff management, libraries, and canteens there are top-notch.

Multiple issues: 'or' is incorrect conjunction (Incorrect conjunction use); 'cantons' is a misspelling of 'canteens'; word order and punctuation needs improvement; 'top-notch' should be hyphenated. Suggestion: list items with commas and use correct word 'canteens'.

× I'd recommend everyone to attend this.

✓ I'd recommend that everyone attend this.

Recommend uses a 'that' clause with the subjunctive or 'recommend someone to do' is less natural; 'recommend that everyone attend' is more grammatically correct. Suggestion: use 'recommend that' + base verb (subjunctive) or 'recommend this to everyone'.

× I haven't really thought about this, but if I have to make changes I'd probably pick the library department.

✓ I haven't really thought about this, but if I had to make changes I'd probably pick the library department.

The conditional 'if I had to' is the correct form when hypothesizing about a present/future unreal situation; using present 'if I have to' is inconsistent. Suggestion: use 'if I had to' for hypothetical choices.

× It has a lot of text curriculum books, but it has a few fiction novels, and if there would be more fiction novels than that would make me more intrigued.

✓ It has many textbooks and a few fiction novels, and if there were more fiction novels, I would be more interested.

Problems: 'text curriculum books' is awkward — 'textbooks' is correct; use 'many' for countable 'textbooks' (quantifier), 'if there would be' is incorrect for conditional — use 'if there were' (subjunctive), and 'more intrigued' is less natural than 'more interested'. Suggestion: use correct nouns ('textbooks'), appropriate quantifiers ('many'), and proper subjunctive conditional 'if there were... I would...'.

× Well to be honest, I don't really have an immediate study plans for my future.

✓ Well, to be honest, I don't really have immediate study plans for my future.

'Plans' is plural so 'an' should be removed (singular article error). Also add commas after introductory phrase. Suggestion: remove 'an' when using plural 'plans' and punctuate the introductory phrase.

× My my priority right now is to find an internship and then land a job.

✓ My priority right now is to find an internship and then land a job.

Repeated word 'my' is a typo causing a sentence structure error. Suggestion: remove the duplicate 'my'.

× After that. I might consider doing graduate degree on the same field.

✓ After that, I might consider doing a graduate degree in the same field.

Period should be a comma linking the clauses; 'doing graduate degree' needs an article 'a' and preposition 'in' not 'on'. Suggestion: use 'a graduate degree in the same field' and proper punctuation.