Study— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce redundancy and split into a clear topic sentence plus one or two supporting details. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and avoid repeating the institution name if already mentioned elsewhere. Add a linking word when giving your reason.

例: I'm a biology student at Guangdong Medical University. I focus on researching medicines and finding treatments to help patients. Because I want to work in medical research, I chose this field to contribute to better patient care.

提案: Start with a concise topic sentence naming the place, then add one or two specific details using linking words. Avoid vague adjectives like "very beautiful" without specifics. Correct minor grammar (remove extra article before 'green spaces').

例: I study at Guangdong Medical University in Dongguan City, Guangdong province. The campus is surrounded by lakes and green spaces, so it provides a peaceful atmosphere for studying.

提案: Make the topic sentence direct and avoid repeating words (remove extra 'the campus'). Use linking words (for example, 'moreover' is good) and be specific about the library resources to strengthen the answer.

例: Yes, it's a great place to study because it's surrounded by lakes and green spaces, offering a quiet environment. Moreover, the university library has an extensive collection of journals and quiet study rooms, which helps me prepare for exams.

提案: Be precise and correct minor word choice errors ("a larger hole" should be 'a larger hall'). Keep it to two sentences: state the problem and propose a realistic solution. Use a linking word like 'therefore' or 'for example'.

例: Yes. The badminton court's ceiling is too low, so the shuttlecock often hits the roof and disrupts play. Therefore, the university should raise the ceiling or move the court to a larger hall to make games safer and more enjoyable.

提案: This is clear and structured. Improve by combining sentences and adding a linking phrase for clarity. Be careful with hyphenation ('long-term', 'short-term') and keep the answer within three sentences.

例: I don't have a long-term study plan at the moment; instead, I set short-term goals. For example, I review what I learned each day and complete assignments on time, so that I can prepare thoroughly for final exams and achieve high scores.

× The campus is surrounded by lakes and the green spaces, which makes it pleasant to study there.

✓ The campus is surrounded by lakes and green spaces, which makes it pleasant to study there.

The definite article 'the' before 'green spaces' is unnecessary because we're talking about green spaces in general, not specific ones. Remove 'the' to correct the noun phrase. Suggestion: use 'green spaces' when referring to them in general and 'the green spaces' only when specific ones have been identified previously.

× Yes, I think it's a great place to study the campus.

✓ Yes, I think the campus is a great place to study.

The original word order is incorrect and redundant ('place to study the campus' is illogical). Reordering subjects and complements yields a clear sentence: 'I think the campus is a great place to study.' Ensure the subject ('the campus') and predicate ('is a great place to study') are correctly placed.

× They should raise the ceiling or relocate the court to a larger hole, making matches safer and more enjoyable for students.

✓ They should raise the ceiling or relocate the court to a larger hall, making matches safer and more enjoyable for students.

The word 'hole' is incorrect in this context; the intended noun is 'hall' or 'space'. This is a lexical choice error rather than a grammatical form, but it affects clarity. Use 'hall' for an indoor large room suitable for sports. Suggestion: choose vocabulary that matches the context (sports facility = hall).

× At the moment, I don't have a long term study plan.

✓ At the moment, I don't have a long-term study plan.

A compound adjective before a noun should be hyphenated in English ('long-term study plan'). While not strictly an article error, this is punctuation affecting adjective usage; hyphenation clarifies that 'long-term' modifies 'study plan'. Suggestion: hyphenate compound adjectives before nouns.

× Instead, I set short term goals.

✓ Instead, I set short-term goals.

Again, 'short-term' as a compound adjective modifying 'goals' needs a hyphen. This is about correct modifier form and placement; hyphenation prevents misreading. Suggestion: hyphenate 'short-term' when used before a noun.

× For example, I review what I learned each day, finish my assignments on time and prepare thoroughly for the final exams because I want to achieve high scores.

✓ For example, I review what I learn each day, finish my assignments on time, and prepare thoroughly for the final exams because I want to achieve high scores.

The sentence mixes past tense ('learned') with present habitual actions ('review', 'finish', 'prepare'). Use present simple 'learn' to match the habitual context. Also add the Oxford comma for clarity and ensure tense consistency. Suggestion: keep tense consistent when listing habitual activities.