Study— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 注意语法时态和句子连贯性，避免重复的填充词（如 uh, umm），并用一到两句清晰表达要点。可以把信息分成主题句和补充细节，使用连接词让表达更自然。

例: I'm currently a clinical nurse in the respiratory department of a public hospital. I've been working here for three years, and I find the job stable and respected. The salary meets my needs, which is one reason I plan to stay.

提案: 注意时态和地点表达的准确性，避免重复词汇和口误。把重要信息按时间顺序组织清楚，例如先说明学校和专业，再说明学位和毕业时间，最后解释现在的去向。

例: I studied at Hunan Normal University in Changsha, where I completed both my bachelor's and master's degrees in nursing. Three years ago I moved to Shenzhen to start working.

提案: 减少重复（如多次说 I think、learn），用更具体的例子说明你从学习中获得的技能，并用连接词使句子流畅。

例: Yes, it was a great place to study. The experience taught me time management and independent learning skills, and I improved my communication by regularly discussing cases with my mentor and collaborating with classmates.

提案: 回答时避免大量填充词和重复，清楚列出具体改进项并解释原因（比如空调、更多学习资源），用一两句支持理由。

例: Yes, I would suggest improving the facilities, such as installing better air conditioning for hot summers, and increasing access to study resources like up-to-date journals and online databases.

提案: 注意主谓一致（plans are/is）和用词准确，避免重复。明确表达目标并说明原因或计划（比如研究方向或职业目标），用一两句扩展具体细节。

例: I plan to apply for a PhD in nursing, focusing on respiratory care. I hope to deepen my theoretical understanding and conduct research that improves clinical practices.

× I am a clinical nurse working in the respiratory department in a public hospital.

✓ I am a clinical nurse working in the respiratory department of a public hospital.

介词搭配错误，应使用 of 表示“……的医院”。建议记住常见搭配：department of, head of 等。

× I already working, uh, in this hospital for three years.

✓ I have already been working in this hospital for three years.

时间从过去持续到现在应使用现在完成进行时或现在完成时。原句缺少助动词 have 和 be 的 -ing 形式，固定语序为 have been working。建议学习现在完成进行时结构：have/has + been + 动词ing。

× I think this work is very stable and respectful and the salary is OK to me.

✓ I think this job is very stable and respected, and the salary is OK for me.

job 比 work 更合适指职业；respectful 意为“表示尊重的”，应改为 respected（受人尊敬的）。另外介词搭配为 OK for me。建议区分形容词的被动/主动含义（respectful vs respected）。

× I used to study in Changsha in at Hunan Normal University.

✓ I used to study in Changsha at Hunan Normal University.

多余的介词 in 应删除，固定搭配为 study in [city] 和 at [university]。建议注意地点搭配用法：in + 城市，at + 学校机构。

× My major is nurse.

✓ My major is nursing.

major 后接学科名词或动名词形式，不能用具体职业名词。建议将职业名词转换为学科名或使用 I majored in Nursing。

× I finished my master and bachelor degree in this university in Changsha, Hunan.

✓ I finished my master's and bachelor's degrees at this university in Changsha, Hunan.

学位需用所有格形式 master's/bachelor's 和复数 degrees（两个学位），并且学校前常用介词 at。建议注意学位的固定表达：master's degree, bachelor's degree。

× But but now, uh, but three years ago I wanted to Shenzhen for working.

✓ But three years ago I went to Shenzhen for work.

原句用 wanted（想要）不合语境，应为 go 的过去式 went；介词搭配为 go to Shenzhen；动名词短语为 for work 而非 for working。建议区分动词意图和固定搭配：go to, for work。

× I think this study experience taught me how to manage my own time, how to be efficient, how to learn, learn something by myself, and how to communicate with my UH mentor with my classmates.

✓ I think this study experience taught me how to manage my time, how to be efficient, how to learn things by myself, and how to communicate with my supervisor and my classmates.

重复的 learn 应合并为 learn things；own time 可简化为 my time；UH mentor 不明确，改为 supervisor（导师）更自然；并列项用 and 连接最后两个对象时需使用 and my classmates，而非 with my UH mentor with my classmates 的重复介词。建议简化重复词并注意并列结构和介词使用。

× Of course, I would like the place where I study to make any change, to make some changes like umm, I, I, I think uh, it can provide some condition air, uh, in, in summer, uh, and uh, provide more, more, more sources, more study.

✓ Of course, I would like the place where I study to make some changes, for example, to provide better air conditioning in summer and to provide more resources for study.

原句中 any change 与后文不搭，重复词过多且表达不清。应使用 make some changes，并使用固定搭配 air conditioning（空调/空气调节）和 resources for study。建议避免口语停顿和重复，学习常用短语表达建议：for example, to provide ...。

× My future study plans is to apply for the PhD and then study and then finish the PhD degree.

✓ My future study plan is to apply for a PhD and then complete the degree.

主谓一致：plan（单数）对应 is；使用 a PhD 更自然，重复表达 study/finish 可合并为 complete the degree。建议注意单复数和避免冗余重复。

× I want to be a professional nurse in not only in clinical but also umm in uh in dimensions theoretical.

✓ I want to be a professional nurse not only in clinical practice but also in theoretical aspects.

原句中 in not only in 重复 in，结构错误； dimensions theoretical 词序和搭配错误，正确为 theoretical aspects。建议使用 not only... but also... 的正确结构，并注意形容词与名词的顺序。