Study— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and directly responds to the question, but it could be more natural and concise. Avoid unnecessary details like the exact location unless asked. Also, try to use a smoother sentence structure.

例: I am currently a university student majoring in International Tourism and MICE Management.

提案: Your answer is understandable but contains many fillers like 'uh' and 'umm' which affect fluency. Try to reduce these and make your sentences more natural and concise. Also, clarify the location more naturally and avoid redundancy.

例: I usually study in my two-bedroom apartment because it's much quieter than the school classrooms.

提案: Your answer has some repetition and unclear points. Try to organize your ideas clearly with linking words and avoid repeating phrases. Also, explain your points more specifically and logically.

例: Yes, it's a good place to study because the quiet environment helps me concentrate. However, sometimes my roommates talk to me, which can be a bit distracting.

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains many hesitations. Try to express your ideas more clearly and use appropriate vocabulary. For example, instead of 'renewable', use 'refreshed' or 'rejuvenated'. Also, keep sentences concise and coherent.

例: Yes, I like to change the position of my desk regularly because it helps me feel refreshed and more motivated to study.

提案: Your answer has grammatical errors and many hesitations. Try to use correct verb tenses and avoid filler words. Also, organize your answer logically with clear linking words.

例: My future study plan is clear. After I graduate, I plan to pursue a postgraduate degree in Hong Kong. Then, after one year of study, I will enter the workforce to develop my personal skills.

× I am a student studying in International Tourism and MICE Management at university located in Macau.

✓ I am a student studying International Tourism and MICE Management at a university located in Macau.

The preposition 'in' is incorrectly used before the course name; we say 'studying [subject]' without 'in'. Also, 'at university located in Macau' is missing an article before 'university'. It should be 'at a university located in Macau' because 'university' is a singular countable noun.

× I always study in my 2 bedroom, uh, apartment.

✓ I always study in my two-bedroom apartment.

The phrase '2 bedroom' should be hyphenated as 'two-bedroom' when used as an adjective before a noun. Also, numbers under ten are usually written in words in formal writing.

× and because my apartment is more, uh, quiet compared with the umm, school classroom.

✓ and because my apartment is quieter compared with the school classroom.

The comparative form of 'quiet' is 'quieter', not 'more quiet'. Also, 'compared with' is correct but the sentence is better with the comparative adjective.

× I think yes umm, firstly it is because umm a quiet environment is what I need when I was studying and I don't want, I don't want rather bother me at that time.

✓ I think yes, umm, firstly it is because a quiet environment is what I need when I study and I don't want to be bothered at that time.

The phrase 'when I was studying' is inconsistent with the present tense 'is what I need'. It should be 'when I study' to match the present tense. Also, 'I don't want rather bother me' is incorrect; it should be 'I don't want to be bothered'.

× Secondly, umm my roommates will communicate with me at that time.

✓ Secondly, umm, my roommates communicate with me at that time.

The use of 'will' here is unnecessary because the action is habitual or general. Also, 'at that time' is vague; if referring to study time, it is acceptable but could be clearer.

× Absolutely yes, because I will regularly change the umm, location my, my desk location, I mean, and umm, which can make me feel more renewable, umm, and more fresh, uh, in order to inspire my study.

✓ Absolutely yes, because I will regularly change the location of my desk, which can make me feel more refreshed and more motivated to study.

The phrase 'change the location my, my desk location' is incorrect; it should be 'change the location of my desk'. 'Renewable' is incorrect in this context; the correct adjective is 'refreshed'. Also, 'in order to inspire my study' is better expressed as 'to motivate my study' or 'to inspire me to study'.

× On my future study plan is very clear, umm, after I graduate, maybe I will uh, I will choose the postgraduate degree at Hong Kong, and after one year study, I will uh, went to the workplace to uh, enhance myself, umm, personal.

✓ My future study plan is very clear. After I graduate, I will choose to pursue a postgraduate degree in Hong Kong, and after one year of study, I will go to the workplace to enhance myself personally.

The sentence 'On my future study plan is very clear' is incorrect; it should be 'My future study plan is very clear'. 'Maybe I will uh, I will choose' is redundant; 'I will choose' suffices. 'At Hong Kong' should be 'in Hong Kong' because 'in' is used for cities and regions. 'After one year study' should be 'after one year of study'. 'I will uh, went' is incorrect; it should be 'I will go' because 'will' is followed by the base form of the verb. 'Enhance myself, umm, personal' should be 'enhance myself personally'.