Study— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer needs to be more grammatically correct and concise. Avoid redundancy and focus on clear sentence structure. For example, use singular/plural forms correctly and avoid repeating the same idea. Also, try to use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: I'm currently a university student majoring in architecture. I find it fascinating because it combines creativity with practical skills. I'm in my third year and currently working on my graduation thesis.

提案: Try to avoid repetition and improve fluency by using linking words. Also, use correct verb tenses and avoid filler words. Make your answer more concise and natural.

例: I usually study in the library because it's a quiet environment. Compared to my house, where distractions like social media and TV make it hard to focus, the library helps me concentrate better.

提案: Improve sentence structure and vocabulary usage. Avoid hesitation and unclear phrases. Use linking words to connect ideas and be more specific about how the library helps you.

例: Yes, it's a great place to study because the library has a wide variety of books related to architecture. For example, I often refer to books on architectural history, which helps me prepare for my exams.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains many hesitations. Try to express your ideas more clearly and avoid unnecessary fillers. Explain what changes you want and why, using linking words to organize your answer.

例: Yes, I would like the study place to allow some social media use because I use apps to motivate myself. For instance, when I share my study progress online, I receive encouraging comments that boost my confidence.

提案: Try to reduce hesitation and improve sentence fluency. Use correct prepositions and article usage. Make your answer more structured and clear with linking words.

例: I plan to pursue a master's degree in architecture at a university in Canada. I have already applied and received confirmation of my acceptance. I'm very excited to continue studying architecture in depth.

× I'm currently students, my major is architecture which is really fun for me because there are is the combination of creative think and productive thing is really interesting for me.

✓ I'm currently a student, my major is architecture which is really fun for me because there is a combination of creative thinking and productive things which is really interesting for me.

The word 'students' should be singular 'student' to match the subject 'I'. 'There are is' is incorrect; it should be 'there is' because 'combination' is singular. 'Creative think' and 'productive thing' should be 'creative thinking' and 'productive things' to use correct noun forms and plural where appropriate.

× And also I'm a third grade of university students so I need to finish my graduation thesis for my graduation.

✓ And also I'm a third-year university student so I need to finish my graduation thesis for my graduation.

The phrase 'third grade of university students' is incorrect; it should be 'third-year university student' to correctly express the academic year and singular form matching 'I'.

× I, I studied in the library, which is really a quiet place.

✓ I study in the library, which is really a quiet place.

The question is about current study habits, so present tense 'study' should be used instead of past tense 'studied'.

× So I can concentrate better compared to my house, because my house, in my house, there are many distractions such as social media or TV.

✓ So I can concentrate better compared to my house, because in my house, there are many distractions such as social media or TV.

The phrase 'my house, in my house' is redundant; 'in my house' alone is sufficient and correctly placed.

× And yeah, and also the quiet place is really good, good place.

✓ And yeah, the quiet place is really a good place.

The phrase 'good, good place' is repetitive; it should be 'a good place' with the article 'a' before the singular noun 'place'.

× Yes, it is because there are a wide variety of books related to my measure.

✓ Yes, it is because there is a wide variety of books related to my major.

'There are a wide variety' is incorrect; 'a wide variety' is singular, so 'there is' should be used. Also, 'measure' is a typo and should be 'major'.

× Since I I'm study about, I study mark architecture, so I refer to some history of architecture in library which is really useful to prepare for my examination.

✓ Since I study architecture, I refer to some history of architecture in the library which is really useful to prepare for my examination.

The phrase 'I I'm study about, I study mark architecture' is incorrect and redundant; it should be 'I study architecture'. Also, 'in library' needs the article 'the' to be correct.

× Yes, I like to, I like that place where it started to make Chinese changes.

✓ Yes, I would like that place where it started to make some changes.

The phrase 'where it started to make Chinese changes' is unclear and likely a misstatement; 'some changes' is more appropriate. Also, 'I like to, I like that place' is redundant and should be simplified.

× Especially I use some social media apps to motivate myself because I, when I post my study picture for the fabric, uh, some people, uh, say you are great or something to me.

✓ Especially, I use some social media apps to motivate myself because when I post my study pictures, some people say I am great or something to me.

The phrase 'post my study picture for the fabric' is unclear; 'post my study pictures' is clearer. Also, 'say you are great' should be 'say I am great' to correctly reflect the speaker.

× I plan to study in architecture in master degree UH in Canada University.

✓ I plan to study architecture in a master's degree at a university in Canada.

The phrase 'in architecture in master degree UH in Canada University' is incorrect; it should be 'study architecture in a master's degree at a university in Canada' for correct article use and word order.

× I applied for the university already and they uh, uh, they are uh, confirm my UH entering.

✓ I have already applied to the university and they have confirmed my admission.

The sentence mixes tenses and has awkward phrasing; 'have applied' and 'have confirmed' are present perfect tense appropriate for recent actions. 'My UH entering' is incorrect; 'my admission' is correct.

× So I'm really happy and I'm looking forward to uh studying about architecture more and more.

✓ So I'm really happy and I'm looking forward to studying architecture more and more.

The phrase 'studying about architecture' is incorrect; 'studying architecture' is the correct form without 'about'.