Study— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Ответ должен быть более естественным и структурированным. Избегайте коротких предложений без связки и уточняйте детали, чтобы ответ был более полным и логичным.

例: I am currently a 10th-grade student, and I attend the UH science class because I have a strong interest in chemistry. This class helps me deepen my knowledge in the subject.

提案: Ответ должен быть более связным и грамматически правильным. Используйте связующие слова для логичности и уточняйте детали, чтобы ответ был более информативным.

例: I study at a school that is located quite far from my house, so I usually take a bus to get there. Sometimes, I go to an Education Center by car. My school has many classmates, a beautiful library, and a large dome.

提案: Избегайте слов-паразитов и улучшайте связность ответа. Добавьте более конкретные причины, почему место хорошее для учёбы.

例: Absolutely yes, it is a great place to study because I have been there for 10 years. The environment is comfortable and memorable, which helps me focus on my studies.

提案: Ответ содержит много слов-паразитов и неясностей. Следует говорить более чётко, избегать повторов и уточнять, что именно вы хотите изменить.

例: Yes, I would like to make some changes because my school is quite old. For example, I want to renovate the cafeteria since it is very small, and improve the appearance of the classrooms to make them more beautiful.

提案: Ответ должен быть более грамматически правильным и логичным. Используйте связующие слова и уточняйте планы более чётко.

例: At the moment, I practice my English carefully every day to achieve a good score. After passing my exams, I plan to study medicine abroad because it has been my dream for a long time.

× I started school, I'm a student of 10th grade.

✓ I started school, and I'm a student in the 10th grade.

The original sentence lacks a conjunction to connect two independent clauses properly. Adding 'and' improves sentence structure and clarity.

× I study at school which located afar of my house, so often I take a bus.

✓ I study at a school which is located far from my house, so I often take a bus.

The preposition 'afar of' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'far from'. Also, 'which located' needs the verb 'is' to form the relative clause.

× However sometimes I go to Education Center on car.

✓ However, sometimes I go to the Education Center by car.

The preposition 'on car' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'by car'. Also, 'Education Center' needs the definite article 'the'.

× About my school there are a lot of classmates, beautiful library and a big Dome.

✓ About my school, there are a lot of classmates, a beautiful library, and a big dome.

The nouns 'library' and 'dome' need the indefinite article 'a' because they are singular countable nouns. Also, 'Dome' should not be capitalized unless it is a proper noun.

× Absolutely yes, because I used to uh study there for 10 years and this a very large time.

✓ Absolutely yes, because I used to study there for 10 years and that is a very long time.

The phrase 'this a very large time' is incorrect; it should be 'that is a very long time' to express duration properly.

× So this place, uh, very memorable and uh, comfortable for me.

✓ So this place is very memorable and comfortable for me.

The sentence is missing the verb 'is' to link the subject and adjectives properly.

× Actually, yes, uh, because, uh, my school is very aged, so I want to change our cafeteria because this place really small.

✓ Actually, yes, because my school is very old, so I want to change our cafeteria because this place is really small.

The adjective 'aged' is better replaced with 'old' in this context. Also, the sentence is missing the verb 'is' before 'really small'.

× Also, I want to change uh, classmates, uh, by making their more beautiful thing.

✓ Also, I want to change my classmates by making their things more beautiful.

The pronoun 'their' needs to be followed by a plural noun 'things'. The original sentence is unclear and grammatically incorrect.

× At the moment, I carefully practice my English everyday for my I'll spend score, then uh when I was past my exam.

✓ At the moment, I carefully practice my English every day to improve my IELTS score, then when I pass my exam,

The phrase 'I'll spend score' is incorrect and unclear; it likely refers to 'IELTS score'. Also, 'when I was past my exam' should be 'when I pass my exam' to indicate future intention.

× I want to study abroad from medicine university because it's my dream for a long time.

✓ I want to study medicine abroad at a university because it's been my dream for a long time.

The phrase 'study abroad from medicine university' is incorrect; it should be 'study medicine abroad at a university'. Also, 'it's my dream for a long time' should be 'it's been my dream for a long time' to express duration up to now.