Study— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is informative but a bit long and slightly off-topic with the mention of the insurance exam, which may confuse the listener. Try to keep your response concise and directly related to the question. Use clear linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: I am currently working as an architect after graduating last year. Next year, I plan to pursue further studies abroad to enhance my skills.

提案: Your answer contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'take a gap' and 'at abroad'. Try to use correct prepositions and verb forms. Also, structure your answer with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details using linking words.

例: I am not studying at the moment because I am taking a gap year to work. However, I plan to continue my studies in Italy to complete my master's degree in architecture.

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains grammatical mistakes. Avoid vague words like 'controversial' without explanation. Use linking words to clarify your opinion and provide specific reasons.

例: It depends on the subject, but for architecture, Italy is an excellent place to study because it has a rich history and unique architectural styles that you can't find elsewhere.

提案: Your answer lacks clarity and contains informal language like 'gonna'. Try to use complete sentences and provide specific examples. Use linking words to organize your ideas logically.

例: At the university I graduated from, several aspects need improvement, such as the syllabus and lectures. However, I am not sure about the university where I will study next.

提案: Your answer repeats previous information and has grammatical errors. Avoid repetition and use correct prepositions. Provide a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details with linking words.

例: My future study plan is to pursue a master's degree in architecture in Italy, which will help me advance my career as an architect.

× I want to continue my studies at abroad in Italy as an architect and complete my master degree there.

✓ I want to continue my studies abroad in Italy as an architect and complete my master's degree there.

The preposition 'at' is incorrectly used before 'abroad'. The correct phrase is simply 'abroad' without 'at'. Also, 'master degree' should be 'master's degree' to indicate possession.

× I think architectures field it is the best choice I have made because in Italy architecture has something that others don't.

✓ I think the field of architecture is the best choice I have made because in Italy architecture has something that others don't.

The phrase 'architectures field it is' is incorrect. It should be 'the field of architecture'. Also, 'architectures' is a plural noun used incorrectly as an adjective.

× University that I already graduated, there are so many aspects that have to be changed, for example syllabus, lectures and so on.

✓ At the university from which I already graduated, there are many aspects that need to be changed, for example, the syllabus, lectures, and so on.

The original sentence lacks proper structure and clarity. It needs a prepositional phrase 'At the university from which I already graduated' and proper article usage before 'syllabus' and 'lectures'.

× I want to go further studies at Italy and complete my master degree and become an architect.

✓ I want to pursue further studies in Italy, complete my master's degree, and become an architect.

The preposition 'at' is incorrect before 'Italy'; the correct preposition is 'in'. Also, 'further studies' is better expressed with 'pursue further studies'. 'Master degree' should be 'master's degree'.