Study— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear and relevant, but it is a bit long and slightly redundant. Try to make your response more concise and natural by avoiding repeated ideas and simplifying sentence structures. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: I am currently a student, and my main focus is on studying to build a successful career. This month, I will start university, and I also work part-time to gain practical skills that I can't learn in class.

提案: Your answer addresses the question but includes unnecessary negative comments and lacks coherence. Try to respond directly with positive or neutral information and use linking words to connect ideas logically. Avoid vague expressions like 'beautiful experience'.

例: I studied at Maqabu Zahra High School in Moshar, which is an old school. However, this month I will begin my studies at a university located in Ahwaz.

提案: Your answer is relevant and includes supporting details, but some word choices are awkward (e.g., 'brave classmates'). Try to use more appropriate vocabulary and link your ideas more smoothly for a natural flow.

例: Yes, Maktaba Zahro is a good place to study because it has many hardworking classmates, which creates a productive environment. Additionally, the teachers are professional and supportive, making it easier to focus on learning.

提案: Your answer provides specific suggestions, which is good, but there are some grammar mistakes and awkward phrases. Try to use correct grammar and clearer expressions, and link your points logically.

例: In my opinion, the tables and chairs at Maktaba Zahra school should be replaced because they are old and uncomfortable. Also, the board and computer system need to be upgraded to improve the learning environment.

提案: Your answer is detailed and shows clear plans, which is good. However, some sentences are long and slightly confusing. Try to break your ideas into shorter sentences and use appropriate vocabulary for clarity and naturalness.

例: I plan to pursue a BA degree in biotechnology over the next four years. After that, I want to move abroad with my degree and certificates. Eventually, I will switch to dentistry because it is my preferred major, and I want to help people take care of their health.

× I think working helps me improve my skills that I can't learn them in classrooms.

✓ I think working helps me improve my skills that I can't learn in classrooms.

The pronoun 'them' is unnecessary and incorrect here because 'skills' is already the object of 'improve'. Removing 'them' avoids redundancy and incorrect sentence structure.

× I don't have any beautiful experience from there.

✓ I don't have any beautiful experiences from there.

The word 'experience' should be plural 'experiences' because 'any' is used with countable plural nouns in negative sentences.

× But this month I will start university that is located in Ahwaz.

✓ But this month I will start university which is located in Ahwaz.

The relative pronoun 'which' is more appropriate than 'that' when referring to a specific place in this context.

× Well if you mean Maktaba Zahro is a good place to study, my answer is yes because you can meet many hard working and brave classmates there.

✓ Well, if you mean Maktaba Zahro is a good place to study, my answer is yes because you can meet many hardworking and brave classmates there.

The word 'hard working' should be combined into one word 'hardworking' as an adjective describing classmates.

× In my opinion, the tables and chairs in Maktaba Zahra school should be changed because they are so old and out of fashioned.

✓ In my opinion, the tables and chairs in Maktaba Zahra school should be changed because they are so old and out of fashion.

The phrase 'out of fashioned' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'out of fashion' meaning outdated or unfashionable.

× In addition, they are little for our body and the board and the computer system should be changed to and become up upgraded.

✓ In addition, they are small for our bodies and the board and the computer system should be changed and upgraded.

'Little' is incorrect when referring to size here; 'small' is appropriate. Also, 'body' should be plural 'bodies' to match 'they'. The phrase 'changed to and become up upgraded' is incorrect and simplified to 'changed and upgraded'.

× and then I will switch to dentistry from biotechnology because my most appealing major is dentistry and I want to help people to take care about their health.

✓ and then I will switch to dentistry from biotechnology because my most appealing major is dentistry and I want to help people take care of their health.

The phrase 'take care about' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'take care of' when referring to looking after health.