Study— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and informative but could be more concise and natural. Try to avoid redundancy by combining related ideas smoothly and using simpler sentence structures.

例: I have recently completed my five-year MBBS degree and am currently working part-time as a hospital intern. This internship is mandatory, and after one year, I will receive my full license to practice medicine locally.

提案: Your answer is a bit repetitive and could be more direct. Avoid repeating information already mentioned and use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: As I mentioned, I don't study full-time, but I take computer courses alongside my part-time hospital internship whenever I have free time.

提案: Your answer is detailed and well-structured. To improve, try to use more varied vocabulary and avoid minor grammatical errors for a more natural flow.

例: I attend a computer training center for my courses, which I find an excellent place to study. It has around 60 to 80 computers, and each student has their own desk, which helps maintain focus. Additionally, the peaceful atmosphere makes it easier to concentrate and learn effectively.

提案: Your answer is relevant but contains some repetition and minor errors. Use linking words to connect ideas and check for repeated phrases to make your answer smoother.

例: There isn't much to change, but I would suggest updating the furniture since the desks and chairs are quite old and uncomfortable. Also, because it's summer here in Pakistan, the rooms get very warm during practice, so installing air conditioning would make the environment much more comfortable.

提案: Your answer is well-structured, clear, and detailed. To enhance it further, you could add a linking phrase to connect your ideas more smoothly.

例: In the future, I would like to pursue postgraduate studies in dermatology because I have been passionate about skin care since childhood. Since it has always been my dream to become a skin specialist, I plan to specialize in this field to gain advanced knowledge and skills. After completing my specialization, I hope to open an aesthetic clinic where I can help patients with various skin conditions.

× I recently completed my five years MBBS degree so I am currently doing a part time job in hospital as an intern.

✓ I recently completed my five-year MBBS degree so I am currently doing a part-time job in a hospital as an intern.

The phrase 'five years MBBS degree' should be 'five-year MBBS degree' because 'five-year' is a compound adjective describing the degree. Also, 'part time job' should be hyphenated as 'part-time job' when used as an adjective. Additionally, 'in hospital' should be 'in a hospital' to correctly use the article with the noun.

× I recently completed my five years MBBS degree so I am currently doing a part time job in hospital as an intern.

✓ I recently completed my five-year MBBS degree so I am currently doing a part-time job in a hospital as an intern.

The noun 'hospital' requires an article here. In English, when referring to a hospital as a place, 'a hospital' is used unless it is a specific hospital known to the listener. Therefore, 'in hospital' should be corrected to 'in a hospital'.

× Now as I told earlier that I don't study, I do part time job in the hospital, but likewise I also do some computer courses side by side when I am free from my internship.

✓ Now, as I told earlier, I don't study; I do a part-time job in the hospital, but likewise, I also do some computer courses side by side when I am free from my internship.

The phrase 'do part time job' is missing the article 'a' before 'part-time job'. Also, 'part time' should be hyphenated as 'part-time' when used as an adjective. Commas are added for clarity and correct sentence structure.

× Now as I told earlier that I don't study, I do part time job in the hospital, but likewise I also do some computer courses side by side when I am free from my internship.

✓ Now, as I told earlier, I don't study; I do a part-time job in the hospital, but likewise, I also do some computer courses side by side when I am free from my internship.

Hyphenation of 'part-time' is necessary when used as an adjective. Also, punctuation improvements help clarify the sentence structure.

× It's a computer training center where I attend my coaching classes for various computer courses and I find it very good place to study.

✓ It's a computer training center where I attend my coaching classes for various computer courses and I find it a very good place to study.

The phrase 'very good place' requires the indefinite article 'a' before it because 'place' is a singular countable noun. Omitting 'a' is incorrect.

× It contains around 60 to 80 computers and each student has his individual desk which help helps maintain focus.

✓ It contains around 60 to 80 computers and each student has his individual desk which helps maintain focus.

The relative pronoun 'which' refers to 'desk' (singular), so the verb should be singular 'helps' instead of 'help'.

× Moreover, the peaceful atmosphere makes it easier to concentrate and learn effectively.

✓ Moreover, the peaceful atmosphere makes it easier to concentrate and learn effectively.

This sentence is correct; no correction needed.

× Not much needs to be changed, but I would suggest updating the furniture because the computer desks and chairs are quite old and uncomfortable.

✓ Not much needs to be changed, but I would suggest updating the furniture because the computer desks and chairs are quite old and uncomfortable.

This sentence is correct; no correction needed.

× Additionally, since it is summer here in Pakistan, the rooms get room gets very warm when we practice, so installing an air conditioner would make the environment much more comfortable these.

✓ Additionally, since it is summer here in Pakistan, the rooms get very warm when we practice, so installing an air conditioner would make the environment much more comfortable these days.

The phrase 'rooms get room gets' is a repetition error; one 'room gets' should be removed. Also, 'comfortable these' is incomplete; it should be 'comfortable these days' to complete the meaning.