Study— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant, but it could be more concise and natural by avoiding redundancy. Try to limit your response to about 3-4 sentences and use linking words to improve flow.

例: I'm currently a student, having returned to school after nearly 20 years of work to improve my skills and advance my career. Balancing work and study is challenging, but it's been a rewarding experience so far.

提案: Your answer addresses the question well but could be improved by using more precise vocabulary and linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Also, watch for tense consistency and minor grammar errors.

例: I study at Sibiu University, majoring in Supply Chain Management. I chose this major because it aligns closely with my previous work experience, and I believe it will help me develop valuable skills for my future career.

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and incomplete. Avoid unclear phrases like 'helps me for kids better' and incomplete sentences. Make sure your supporting details are specific and fully expressed, using linking words to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I think it's a great place to study because it offers a quiet and comfortable environment. For example, the nearby library has a wide range of books and digital materials, and it is free from distractions, which helps me concentrate better.

提案: Your answer has good ideas but lacks clarity and completeness. Avoid filler words like 'uh' and ensure your sentences are complete. Provide specific examples and use linking words to make your answer coherent.

例: Yes, I would like the university to make some changes, such as creating quieter and more comfortable areas to help students focus. For instance, adding more private study rooms and comfortable furniture would improve concentration. Additionally, upgrading the technology would enhance the learning experience.

提案: Your answer is relevant but contains some unclear phrases and incomplete thoughts. Make sure to complete your sentences and clarify your ideas. Use linking words to connect your points logically.

例: In the future, I plan to specialize further in supply chain management by pursuing a master's degree. I believe this will deepen my knowledge and improve my career prospects, as supply chain management plays a crucial role in ensuring efficient business operations.

× I choose this major because it closely relates to my previous work experience and I believe it will help me develop valuable skills for the future career.

✓ I chose this major because it closely relates to my previous work experience and I believe it will help me develop valuable skills for my future career.

The verb 'choose' should be in the past tense 'chose' to match the past action of selecting the major. Using the present tense here is incorrect because the decision was made in the past.

× Yes, I believe it's a great place to study because it provides a quiet and comfortable environment that helps me for kids better.

✓ Yes, I believe it's a great place to study because it provides a quiet and comfortable environment that helps me focus better.

The phrase 'helps me for kids better' is incorrect and unclear. The correct expression is 'helps me focus better' to convey that the environment aids concentration.

× For instance, the nearby library offers a wide range of books and digital materials, and it has very few distractions, making it an ideal spot for.

✓ For instance, the nearby library offers a wide range of books and digital materials, and it has very few distractions, making it an ideal spot for studying.

The sentence ends abruptly with 'making it an ideal spot for.' It needs a noun or gerund to complete the thought. Adding 'studying' completes the sentence logically.

× Yes, I'd like the place where I started to make some changes, especially by creating quieter and more comfortable areas to help students focus better.

✓ Yes, I'd like the place where I study to make some changes, especially by creating quieter and more comfortable areas to help students focus better.

The phrase 'the place where I started' is incorrect in this context. It should be 'the place where I study' to refer to the current study location.

× For instance, having more private study rooms and uh, furniture would improve concentration.

✓ For instance, having more private study rooms and furniture would improve concentration.

The filler 'uh,' is inappropriate in formal speech or writing and should be removed for clarity and professionalism.

× Additionally, upgrading the technology.

✓ Additionally, upgrading the technology would be beneficial.

This is a sentence fragment lacking a main verb or predicate. Adding 'would be beneficial' completes the sentence.

× In future, I plan to specialize in supply chain management by pursuing a master's degree because I believe this will deepen my knowledge and improve my career prospects.

✓ In the future, I plan to specialize in supply chain management by pursuing a master's degree because I believe this will deepen my knowledge and improve my career prospects.

The phrase 'In future' is missing the definite article 'the.' The correct phrase is 'In the future.'

× I'm particularly interested in this build as it plays a crucial role in ensuring efficient business operation after completing my studies, I hope.

✓ I'm particularly interested in this field as it plays a crucial role in ensuring efficient business operations. After completing my studies, I hope to apply this knowledge.

The sentence contains a typo ('build' instead of 'field'), run-on structure, and incomplete thoughts. Splitting into two sentences and correcting the typo improves clarity and grammar.